Overture
by Pari B
Summary: That feeling once so new it went undefined now blossoms in her chest. It's been growing steadily every day, fed by every touch and every look that they've shared. She has yet to give it a voice or a name though, she fears that by doing so it will destroy her. But, tonight she realizes that it isn't here for her destruction, but rather her salvation. Canon Divergent.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN**_ _: This entire story was born from one line of a Sleeping at Last song from which this title is derived from. I spent months with it rattling around in my head until a prompt from a friend and divine intervention finally made me put pen to paper. Now what started off as a couple of hundred words has turned into a beast of a story!_

 _I will try to post chapters as quickly as I can. Please know that I absolutely accept constructive criticism and as this is un-beta'd there may be a couple of bumps along the way._

 _This story is for Grace_

 _Disclaimer: Though the following work of fiction are purely mine, the characters are not. We can thank Ms. Suzanne Collins for creating these characters and allowing us to play with them outside of her words._

* * *

 _ **It starts with our eyes well acquainted with the darkness**_

 _ **KATNISS**_

She wakes, violently so, from a nightmare that had held her so deep in its recesses that she wasn't sure she was awake long after her eyes were open. Her breathing is fast, thready and painful in her throat, she'd been screaming out loud she realizes.

"Shhh, shhh, mmm, ss..it's ok," he mumbles. Strong, steady hands wind their way around her waist pulling her closer to his chest. He plants a soft warm kiss against the nape of her neck in comfort.

She tenses.

He's still mostly asleep, he's probably not even aware that he did it, he's just trying to offer her comfort, but, she's caught off guard none the less. Not because he's never done it before, but because his kisses as of late have begun to make her skin burn under the press of his lips. That fluttering feeling she's come to associate with him fills her belly, warming her in a way that's entirely new and old all at the same time.

She turns in his arms so that she can see him fully and he subconsciously moves to accommodate her. Even in sleep, he still manages to always put her first. Every night since that first night he's come to her. His arms offering her salvation from the nightmares. His presence is like a balm on her soul and his body offers her a security that she's come to crave in a very short time.

He's a victim of the nightmares too, though he never says a word. But, she can see the toll they take. They are evident in the dark circles that frame his eyes and the sallowness of his skin. She is selfish she notes, and she takes and takes everything he gives and she never once reciprocates it.

"How can you love me?" she whispers into the night.

She studies him in the dark. She can only just discern his features, the only light coming from the lone window where fragmented bits of moon filter through the trees as the train speeds down the track. Her shift has brought them closer now, the tips of their noses just barely touching. Her right hand as if possessed moves to cup his face. Her thumb lightly grazing the swell of his cheek, the dimple in his chin and finally his bottom lip. It's here her eyes rest as her finger glides back and forth across the soft skin. His mouth has been haunting her dreams for weeks now and before she even realizes it she's pressed her own mouth against his.

She feels him stiffen under her lips and she pulls back immediately. He's definitely awake now and his eyes easily find hers in the dark.

"Katniss?" he questions, his voice husky and deep from sleep.

She doesn't know how to respond, she's a little frightened and ashamed, but the feeling that overrides all the others is the temptation to do it again.

So she does.

And this time he responds.

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 ** _The mind was made to illuminate the heart_**

 **PEETA**

He doesn't recognize her screams at first. But as she calls out again he feels it more than hears it, the pain tinged with fear and misery. They are an agonizing mirror of his own nocturnal haunting's.

His instant reaction is to run to her, but he pauses just as his shadow falls across her doorway. He's unsure if he should go to her. The past couple of months have demonstrated that they're not friends, they're barely even acquaintances. The past couple of weeks however, he's found himself in an odd sort of limbo where she's concerned. What he does know is that she will mask her embarrassment with anger if she learns that her vulnerability is being advertised across the narrow hallways.

He can't ignore the screams though, every one of them feels like a knife to his chest, so against his better judgement he takes a deep breath and opens her door.

He can see that she's tangled in the sheets, fighting an unknown enemy that stalks behind her closed lids. He intends to stay by the door, just wanting to make sure she's safe. But, she's mumbling something and it's those whispered words that draws him closer.

"Peeta?! Peeta?! Please, where are you? Don't leave me."

Her cries are frantic and hearing her call his name with such agony resonates with a primal and elemental instinct in him to protect his own. He can't kill or maim the monsters that terrorize her, they are but figments of her imagination, so he does the only thing he can think of. He kneels on the bed, gathers her in his arms and holds her tightly against him, all the while whispering words of solace in her ear that he hopes will calm her down. It takes a minute, but he begins to feel her muscles relax under his own and as he attempts to extricate himself from her, to lay her back down, she digs her fingers into his flesh and begs, "Please don't leave me."

She's still asleep, he muses. She's not thinking clearly and though he'd like nothing more than to spend the night wrapped around her, he knows that she does not share the same sentiment. He will at least enjoy this moment though, with her tucked under his chin, warm from sleep. He moves to lay her down again, but instead of letting go, she tightens her hold on him. He can feel her shaking her head back and forth against his chest.

"Katniss?"

"No, no. Do-don't leave me," she whimpers.

"Shh, it's ok. Do you want me to stay with you for a while?"

Her response is to wrap her legs around his waist. She's pretzeled her body around his and he cannot escape. So he doesn't try. Instead he rocks her gently, stroking her hair until she begins to nod off again. His third attempt to leave is thwarted by one word.

"Stay," she whispers.

"Always"


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN:**_ _For clarification, this chapter takes place in the months and weeks before the first._

* * *

Peeta Mellark has loved Katniss Everdeen for 11 years, 9 months and 23 days.

He could have continued that way, he tells himself, loving her from afar- but then they were thrust together into the brutality of the Games and everything that came along with that. Now, he knows the weight of her head on his shoulder, the warmth of her hand in his and the softness of her kiss. It is the memory of these things that torments him; making his heart bleed more in the months since their victory than all the years before.

Since their return, he's shied away from her as much as possible. Her parting words to him as they had disembarked the train had hurt him more than any rolling pin to the side of the head ever did. He doesn't want her to see to see how wounded he is.

But, he catches glimpses of her still.

She can afford to shop in town now, though her presence is infrequent. He's seen her at the butcher's, the shoemakers, and even the dress shop. He braces himself for the day she will come to the bakery.

But, she never does.

Instead, it is young Primrose that he spots on a warm fall day when he hears his father call out, "Good Morning Ms. Everdeen," from the bakery's front.

He will not be disappointed he tells himself. He needs to grow up and move on from the silver eyed girl that haunts his dreams. The motivations are for naught though, his heart hurts so acutely that he finds himself rubbing the spot.

He doesn't ask after her, even as Primrose smiles at him warmly from across the counter. She's a bubbly little girl and she laughs at his brothers' jokes and giggles at their teasing. As she takes the wrapped box from his hands, she pauses and lays Peeta with a look well beyond her years.

"She misses you," she says, lowering her voice so that no one will hear.

It is the only words they exchange before she smiles again and skips through the door.

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It takes Katniss Everdeen 11 hours, 9 minutes and 23 seconds after returning home, to realize that Peeta Mellark means much more to her than she's let on.

If she were being honest with herself she knew it the moment she found him again, camouflaged alongside the river, bleeding to death during the Games. But, she cannot be honest with herself because only a firm denial will protect her heart.

She tries to find ways to distract herself in his absence.

She hunts, she whittles, she even helps her mother out with patients while Prim is at school. But the things she once found comfort in the most prove to be her undoing. She feels like the world's gone mute around her and she's drowning in the very silence she once craved. In the woods, in the Seam, even in her house; especially in her house - the quiet becomes too much. So much larger than her old one, even her thoughts can't keep her company here, they take too long to echo back to her mind in the giant manor.

She decides to add a detour through town one day after her hunt. The noise she assumes will hopefully allay the silence that now dwarfs her life. She starts frequenting some of the shops for no other reason than to keep herself busy.

The bakery is off limits though.

She can't trust herself to be around him. She doesn't deserve the solace she so fervently aches for because she's hurt him so terribly. She doesn't want to see the pain or the anger on his face, knowing that she alone put it there.

It's not until she finds herself in front of his shop one day that she realizes her heart is pursuing the needs her mind refuses to admit too. She pulls herself up short just before she opens the door. Flustered, she makes a flimsy excuse about needing to see Madge about something, much to Prim's confusion.

"But, I thought you wanted cheese buns?" Prim shouts, her hands thrown up in exasperation at her sister's retreating form.


	3. Chapter 3

_**KATNISS**_

Six week before the Victory Tour is set to launch, Effie calls to let her know that her and Peeta are expected to do some appearances with accompanying press to advertise their departure. Without it expressly being said, she understands that they don't have a choice.

An immediate knot of anxiety forms within her, the vomit rising so quickly that she drops the phone, her stomach emptying in the nearby kitchen sink. She can still hear Effie calling her name through the phone.

Two days later she finds herself standing next to Peeta at a ribbon cutting ceremony for the new wing of the Justice building. It's the first time she's seen him in months and aside from one brief glance, he's refused to meet her eyes.

She thinks nothing can hurt worse than his obvious disregard.

His hand barely hold hers at the event, but they are warm and she holds on to that fact. She spends her time drinking up his visage every chance she can because even if he's not looking, she is. She notes the small changes to his appearance after the few short months. His blonde hair is slightly darker and he looks fitter, more mature, though he's still very much her Peeta.

She cries that night because she knows that she's not his Katniss anymore.

Because of his reluctance to touch her, she finds that she needs to compensate. Snow is watching their every move. He cannot glimpse their indifference- or rather Peeta's.

But, where she used to dread that kind of intimacy, now she clings to it with a kind of desperation that she used to associate with weakness. Around town, she's the first to entwine their fingers, wrapping her other hand around his arm so she's pressed against his body. She brushes his hair from his face, runs her fingers down his arms or across his back, and presses kisses to his cheek all to his discontent and the press's enjoyment.

She thinks all hope is lost after they finish a photo shoot in the meadow one day. He could barely look at her, far less to touch her. Even the crew were surprised by his behavior. They'd all been told she was the difficult one.

"Lover's quarrel," she overhears one of them say. The others all laugh.

"If they only knew," she thinks.

The minute they return to the trailer being used as the dressing room, he rips his hand out of hers, but she grabs at it, pulling him back to her, trapping his arm to her body. She can't take his silence anymore, she's lived with her own for too long.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry okay?!" The apology comes out as an anguished sob and she clasps his hand to her chest tightly.

He looks at her with weary surprise. "I'm sorry. I can't... I ruined us." The tears that she will only shed in private make their way down her face.

"I know you hate me. I'm an awful human being, but I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I know it might be too late for it to mean anything, but I am."

He continues to stare at her, and just as she's about to pull away he cups her face with both hands, thumbing the tears from her cheeks.

"I don't hate you, Katniss," he exhales. The tension so evident in his body lately ebbing minutely. "You hurt me deeply and I don't know if I'll be able to get over that. I believed that you cared for me and that it was that love that motivated you to save us. I've never really had anyone that genuinely cared for me before and I was a fool to think that I'd finally found someone who would."

She cries big, fat ugly tears at his admission. Her body shakes with the force of them and she feels like they may never stop. "I deserve to die for the pain I've caused him," she thinks. She hears him growl and she looks up quickly in alarm.

"Don't you dare say you deserve to die! Do you hear me Katniss? You shut up right now about that!" He shakes her roughly, his fingers digging into her shoulders.

Now it's her turn to stare. She hadn't realized that she'd spoken her thoughts out loud. He pulls her to him, squeezing her so tightly that she's forced to take shallow breaths.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she cries into his chest.

She feels him inhale acutely, "I know."

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They don't know how long they stand there embracing, but clearly it's long enough for those outside to think they've been up to something. When they emerge redressed, it's to hoots from several of the male crew members. Peeta flushes crimson and while Katniss may be naive, she's wise enough to know what they are hinting at.

"Took you two long enough!" The photographer laughs.

"Oh, he needed to remind her who she belongs to," adds another, winking at the pair.

"If she were mine, I certainly would. I'd be reminding her every day." The set dresser says, elbowing the guy next to him in solidarity.

Katniss bristles at the accusation. She's about to protest that she's not a piece of property to be owned, when Peeta yanks her behind him possessively. His hand holding hers firmly against his lower back. Standing there, she looks up at his neck tense with irritation and without thinking she moves to lightly grip it, running her thumb in circles against the bunched muscles. He leans a little into her touch.

"Katniss is her own woman, she doesn't belong to anyone," Peeta shouts, "And I expect you all too kindly not speak about her that way." He begins to walk away and she has to rush to keep up as he's still holding her hand.

She knows the comments were just men being men, but she can't quite shake them. As he walks her home she can't help but wonder, "Could I belong to him?" Oddly, the thought doesn't terrify her. Instead a new and not unpleasant warmth fills her chest.

By the time she goes to bed that night, the feeling has settled deep in her bones. She has a feeling that it's found a home there. That and the residual ghost of the kiss he pressed to her neck before he left are enough to lull her to sleep that night.

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In the last weeks before they depart, they come to an unspoken agreement. Though he is still cautious around her, he returns her affections more willingly and she knows that he's beginning to come around when he manages a genuine smile in her direction.

She's unsure why she so desperately needs his absolution; she's never been one to care about what people think of her before, but with him it's different. He's one of the few truly good people aside from Prim and hurting him is like hurting her.

As the days pass and they once again begin to find a familiarity with each other, the weight of her guilt lessens with every look and touch that he gives her. However, it is the kisses that he begins to return and especially the ones that he leaves her with at her door every night that solidifies his forgiveness.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN:**_ _I cannot take credit for any of the actual 'M' rated stuff in this chapter or the rest of this story for that matter, however mild it may be. I collaborated with a friend that is an amazing writer for that. I gave her the context and she wrote the lines. I lack the ability to write those types of scenes.. Though much kudos to those of you talented writers that can!_

 _As a note, Katniss will appear OOC here, but that's because she comes to realize her feelings much earlier in this story than in the original._

 _This chapter picks up after the very first one, not the last._

* * *

They didn't know the Pandora's Box they would open once they shared those few fervent kisses that night in Eleven. There was something about the dark that made them more real, more intimate.

Every night since, they've spent exploring each other. He becomes her personal cartographer, mapping the constellations of her body through her freckles and scars.

She learns that he is ticklish, which she exploits because the laughter that they incite is music not just to her ears, but to her soul as well.

But, while she's open about the marks that mar her body, blemishes obtained from a difficult life, he is closed off about his, turning away from her one night when she finds the evidence of a particularly large burn on his hip.

"Did your mother..." she begins to question, but he stiffens under her gaze.

She bends down and kisses his still mouth. It's not like the passionate kisses they've been sharing that night, it's sweet and filled with the promise of understanding. She lays her head against his cheek and is just about to fall asleep when he begins to speak.

"I was 13. She caught me giving bread away to some little kids in the alley. She hit me with the hot paddle we use to take the bread out of the oven with."

"They should call you St. Peeta, the sovereign saint of starving children," she jests, though a discernible huskiness is present in her voice. "She hit you for feeding me too, didn't she? I saw the bruise on your face the day after."

His silence is her answer and soon he can feel a pool of wetness forming on his skin under her head.

"I will never stop owing you, am I?" she frowns.

"Katniss it's not a competition. There's no score that needs to be kept. That's not how this works."

But, I've never given you anything."

He shifts to sit up, tugging her with him so that she's forced to straddle his lap. Tucking her head under his chin, he tilts it so he can kiss her forehead.

"Katniss, my love, you've given me life."  
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These nights on the train are for them and them alone.

Amidst the turmoil and tension that surrounds them when the sun is up, the nights become their favourite part of the day. They find themselves rushing through their schedules in anticipation of getting back on the train quickly. Even Effie takes note, delighted that after the disaster in Eleven, they are perfect examples of expediency and decorum.

They try to keep their voices down as they learn each other's pleasures, but the night that Peeta's mouth replaces his hands, his lips no longer able to muffle her moans, Katniss knows that she might be pushing the sound barrier of their room. She can't seem to care all that much right now, but briefly wonders if the other train inhabitants can hear.

Her question is answered the next morning at the breakfast table when Haymitch smirks at the two of them and Effie won't look them in the eye. Neither Mentor nor Escort says anything to them though, but Katniss couldn't be bothered even if they did.

She and Peeta need each other right now.

In every new district they've been met with heavier and heavier police presence. They are shuttled now in bulletproof cars and on more than one occasion they've had to cut an appearance short because of unrest in the crowd. Yesterday found them in Seven where Haymitch barely had time to get them inside the Justice building before the protesters took the stage. The echoes of gunshots and yelling have become the playlist to their tour.

They need the comfort and release that they find in only each other to balance the stress they find themselves constantly around.

The next night as his lips skim across her jaw, then down her neck to suck on the sensitive flesh at its junction, she pants out, "I'm not. Hmmm, I don't..." She shakes her head in an attempt to clear the lusty fog she's under. His hands seem to be everywhere at once, stroking her desire to a fevered pitch and causing an inability to form sentences. "Ohhh... I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this."

Peeta stills above her, hands pausing on her thighs, her underwear still bunched in his fists from where he'd been tugging it down. Breathing deeply, he drops his forehead down onto hers. He knew this was too good to be true. He should have prepared himself for this moment. He wonders if it has to do with the stare down they received during breakfast. He drops a kiss on her nose before rolling off of her.

Running his fingers through his hair, he sighs, "We can stop anytime Katniss. I don't want you to feel pressured."

He makes to get off the bed, but Katniss launches herself at him, pulling him back, she hugs him to her body, locking his legs between her own.

"Katniss, what are you-" but, before he can finish she seals her mouth to his. The exchange is deep and filled with need and frustration and only serves to confuse him more.

"Shut up," she mumbles, when they finally break for air. She leans down and sucks on his bottom lip until he's light headed with want. "I didn't mean we should stop. I meant... ugh, I mean..."

She stretches up, pinning his arms to the side. He's at her mercy as she's bracketed him in between her hips so he raises his eyebrows prompting her to continue. Whatever it is must be difficult for her to discuss because he can see her cheeks redden even in the dim of their room.

She drops her gaze to his chest lifting one hand to card it through the fine hairs that cover his torso. He watches her gather her courage through the play of her fingers.

"What we've been doing- it's been…" She inhales deeply, "amazing. But, I think I want. No, I need more. There's this ache…"

He stills her hands beneath his own forcing her to finally look at him. She must find what she needs in his expression because with one breathy rush she speaks, "I was trying to say that I don't know how much more of this I can take without you being inside me."

"Ohhh," he sputters out, eyes wide in surprise. That wasn't what he was expecting at all.

She smiles down at him, "relax," she giggles lightly. "I don't mean right now. But, soon... maybe?"

He hugs her to him tightly, pressing kiss upon kiss to every available square inch of her face.

"Whenever you're ready then."


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Please feel free to message me or comment if you have any questions when it comes to this story. For expediency sake I will be glossing over certain events from the book that I just don't feel need elaboration. For example, in the last chapter when I mentioned the 'disaster in Eleven' I was referring to the old man being shot. Just let me know if there is any clarification needed. I'm happy to oblige._

* * *

Before they leave for District Three, they ask Effie if he and Katniss can have some time to themselves.

"We've never seen the ocean before and we'd like to see it just once before we leave."

He would like a minute to just breathe honestly, but he's seen Katniss longingly looking at the coast all day, trying to catch glimpses here and there as they were shuffled from one event to the next and he wants to give her this.

"Please, Effie? We won't be that long."

She looks down at their joined hands and the smile that she gives them is kind and wistful and it makes him wonder if somewhere out there is a man whose heart belongs to Effie, the way that his does to Katniss.

He can see her warring with herself, but she cups his chin and nods, "Half an hour. I wish I could give you more."

He squeezes Katniss' hand in excitement, "We'll take it, thank you Effie."

They waste no time, running through the train and jumping off the balcony of the back car, racing each other down to the beach.

Effie follows quietly behind, she's been barely holding it together these past couple of days, but watching the young lovers laugh and hold each other as they make their way down to the water gives her hope.

She lets one lone tear slide down her cheek, whispering into the humid air, "I wish I could give you so much more."

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Whether it's the salt tinged air, the small bit of freedom or some other cosmic influence, tonight feels different.

They barely made it back to the train on time, almost making love right there on the sands of the beach with the setting sun casting a golden hue over their bodies. It was only the blaring of the train horn that broke through their haze of lust, reminding them of where they were.

They're giddy and breathless as they stumble back into their room. Peeta flops unto the bed, peering over as he hears the lock click into place. Katniss slowly turns towards him, dropping her head back against the door, trying to catch her breath. She chances a glance at him and as their eyes connect they both burst into a fit of laughter.

"Can you imagine if they got all the way to Three before they realized they'd left us behind?"

"I think Effie might actually kill us if that ever happened," he jokes.

His eyes rake over her disheveled hair and swollen lips and the mood in the room begins to shift the longer they stare at each other.

His eyes once filled with laughter slowly darken in desire. When the smile slips from his lips, her own mirth soon dies catching in her throat as the fire that they had started on the beach reignites explosively in the hush of their small cabin.

He's on her in less than a heartbeat, devouring her mouth, her jaw, and her neck, anything that he can get his lips on. He feels her dress slip down in between them as he lifts her hands above her head, anchoring her to the door. They hadn't had enough time to fix their clothes when they'd been called back, instead just clutching them as best as they could as they ran.

" _There needs to be another name for this kind of kissing,"_ he thinks, because all the words that exist don't seem to define it well enough.

He lifts her up in one swift motion, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. They stumble over to the bed, falling back in a pile of limbs and giggles with her underneath him. His thumbs rub gentle circles on the delicate skin of her ribcage as she arches into his touch. His lips return to the path it had been begun charting on her skin earlier and she hums under his attention, her body blushing under his ministrations.

"Katniss, are you sure?" He asks between kisses.

"Yes!" She gasps. "Yes, the first time, yes, the second time, and yes for any time you ask after that!" He laughs softly, but places one last kiss on her belly before moving up to hold her face in his hands.

She sighs heavily in frustration leaning up to kiss him lightly "Peeta, seriously, I'm ok. I'm ready."

When he continues to hesitate, she adds, "Is it something else? Is it me?"

"What?! No! God no! Please don't think that ever!"

He's quick to dispel her concerns, he hates the note of insecurity he can see in her face. He plants a tender kiss on her nose hoping it conveys his feelings.

"It's just, you don't think we're moving too fast? It's only been a couple of days since we've been-" gesturing at their bodies, "you know?"

She's quiet for a while, her eyes downcast. He's slightly taken aback when her refocused gaze is glassy with emotion. The breath she expels is shaky with unshed tears. She steadies herself by carding her hands through his hair.

"No, I don't think we're moving too fast because…"she hesitates, "because we've wasted enough time. Now it's more like we need to catch up to where we should be."

He kisses the salty tracks that mar her skin before sealing his mouth over hers. "You have no idea the effect you have on me Katniss Everdeen," he says in between kisses. She responds in kind deepening their kiss.

He pulls away slightly, "You know I love you right?"

She tremulously shakes her head in acknowledgment, worrying her lower lip. He kisses the abused flesh to distract her.

He doesn't expect her to return the admission.

"I don't know how great it might be." He confesses. "I know it's supposed to hurt the first time and I really don't want to hurt you, but I want it to feel good and..."

"And it will," she interrupts, pressing her fingers against his mouth. "It's just us, it'll be perfect."  
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If they thought they couldn't get enough of each other before, the minute they cross that last physical boundary they find that they are insatiable. They spend the rest of the tour trying to steal as much time together as possible. They pull each other into every dark corridor or nook when they can and the thrill of always being on the cusp of getting caught helps to drive their desires.

They're inhibitions are clouded by their lust and it's only a matter of time before their negligibility catches up with them. As embarrassing as it is, they're grateful that it's Effie and not someone else that finally stumbles upon them in an intimate moment.

They'd been bored to tears during a dinner at the mayor of Two's house. Between the man's blatant narcissism and his wife's arrogance, Peeta and Katniss had been desperately looking for a distraction. They found it in the form of subtle squeezes to the other's leg whenever they needed to be rescued from a dreadful conversation or someone's overly affectionate displays. However, what started off as a playful game soon grew heady the higher their hands traveled.

It wasn't long before he had excused himself catching her eye so that she knew to follow. She swiftly made her way out into the empty corridor, but before she could call for him she felt his arms wrap around her waist. Smiling, she turned in them and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"Come, there's an empty bathroom down this way," he grinned against her lips.

No sooner had he propped her up on the bathroom's counter, did the door swing open to the irritated glare of their escort. Caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar, Peeta quickly extricated it from under Katniss' dress and stepped away from her. She in turn slowly slid off of the vanity counter and came to stand next to him.

Seconds of tense suspense tick by as they wait for their reprimand until Effie's uncharacteristic silence and unwavering stare start to scare them the longer the standoff continues.

"Ef-," but she raises her hand to stop him.

She shuts the door behind her and moves towards them with an aggressive determination that has them both taking a step back. When she's finally in front of them, Peeta can see that under the anger and annoyance their ever proper escort seems to be fighting - a smile?

The couple share a puzzled look.

Effie opens her purse and pulls a little zippered pouch out of it. Dragging Katniss over to the mirror, she starts to take things out of the bag and proceeds to fix the girl's hair and makeup.

Just as she's repining one of Katniss' braids she finally breaks the tension.

Locking her eyes with theirs in the mirror she sighs, "You two have to be more careful. What if it wasn't me that found you? The impropriety of it all! They'll all wonder what kind of example Haymitch and I are setting for you two," she admonishes though bemusedly.

She doesn't wait for them to reply instead motioning Peeta over. She steadies his face with one hand and pulls a comb through his rumpled curls. She also runs a wet towel across his mouth to remove the telltale stain of Katniss burgundy lipstick.

Even though the awkwardness hasn't waned, Peeta can't help feeling a surge of fondness at the woman. It's been years since anyone has taken care of him. To further warrant his affections, she pulls them into a joint hug, embracing the pair as tightly as her arms will allow.

Her hands move down their arms to clutch one each of their hands into hers as she retreats from the hug.

"I'll say no more on the subject after, but please promise me that you're being safe?"

"Of course." They both reply.

"Do you have enough protection?" She adds.

"Yes?" He supplies. He assumes he's missing something but his pride keeps him from asking what she means by 'protection.'

"Good, good. Now Katniss you leave with me. Peeta, wait five minutes and then you can join us."

With that she turns on her heels, holding Katniss' hand and makes for the door. Katniss looks over her shoulder and shrugs, grinning before being pulled outside.

His question about protection is answered later that night, when after dinner, Haymitch slaps several nondescript packets of something labeled 'condoms' in his hands.

"Effie thought you might be needing some of these," his smirk quickly transforming into a full blown guffaw as he made his way out of the dining car.

Peeta stands there staring at the box in his hand. He's never seen anything like it before.

 _"Maybe Katniss will know,_ " he wonders, heading to their room.

* * *

 _ **AN: I actually mediated for a bit on whether or not Peeta or Katniss would know what condoms or any another form of protection would be. I know, great way to spend a Saturday night huh? But, I digress. In my opinion, with the Capital being so omnipotent (and a testament to propaganda) they have the ability to control whatever products or even information is filtered to the rest of the country for their own purposes. With the population of Panem being quite small (it hovers around the million mark) I can definitely see Snow promoting reproduction especially in the Districts as it's their children that are used as chattel for the Games. With that being said, things like prophylactics would be banned (outside of the Capital) as they would be in direct opposition to boosting population numbers.**_

 _ **Also, Twelve as I imagine is very much like the rural areas of many countries where sadly sex-ed is woefully underdeveloped. I can attest to this from when I worked for a woman's app as a moderator. Staffers would laugh at the types of questions we would get, but honestly it made me sad to see how uneducated so many people are about their bodies and sex. I quite envision Katniss and Peeta to be like the young adults whose questions I answered and whose concepts of intimacy are borne from trial and error and what they garner from whispered conversations in the schoolyard.**_ _ **  
**_


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: I wanted to clarify for anyone that may have been confused as to why Effie and Haymitch hadn't previously acknowledged Katniss and Peeta's growing intimacy. There really is a host of reasons, but for me, I saw it as an 'out of sight, out of mind' kind of situation. Both Escort and Mentor can continue to ignore what their victors are doing as long as they don't see it; which is why Effie doesn't address it until she literally catches them in the act. At that point she can no longer deny what they've been up to._

 _Part of me also believes that she and Haymitch want the young lovers to have these moments of privacy because so much of their lives are already on display. Not to mention that I'm sure it's an embarrassing topic to discuss for both parties._

* * *

Their first morning back in the Capital finds them both morose and exhausted. Tremulous apprehension had kept them up for much of the night and by the time the train rolled into the station they just wanted the tour to be done and over with so that they can return to their quiet lives in Twelve.

"Let's just try to get through the day hmm," Effie sympathized, as she ran through the day's events.

Their moods only further plummet when they realize they'll be separated for most of it. They spend the next several hours in fittings and appearances and they don't see one another again until Peeta's thrust on stage during Katniss' interview with Caesar for his 'surprise' proposal. They're denied even a chance to speak before their redressed and on their way to the president's house.

The tension in the limo ride over is palpable. He holds her closely, hands intertwined. He caresses her knuckles with his thumb in what he hopes is a soothing gesture.

"Just tonight," he murmurs into her neck, "then we get to go home. We're done."

But they're not done he learns, when Katniss drags him away from the party into an unused coat closet.

"He doesn't believe, he doesn't believe!" she repeats with rising hysteria.

"What? Believe what? Who doesn't believe?"

But she doesn't stop to answer him. Instead, waging an internal argument with herself he knows will only provoke a panic attack, so he grabs her shoulders and forces her to look at him.

"Katniss! Stop! What is going on?"

"Snow, Peeta, Snow, he doesn't believe me, he doesn't believe us!" she shrieks.

"Did somebody say something to you?" She'd not left his side since they arrived so he knows Snow himself wasn't the messenger.

"No, but I glanced up at him and he just- he gave me this look Peeta- and I knew, I knew he didn't think it was real. Even the engagement wasn't enough."

"That's his own fault then because it's very much real," he quips, dipping his finger under the neck of her gown to trace the brand he'd left there the night before. Effie had tutted at them when she saw it exclaiming that she didn't know if she had enough makeup to cover up the bite.

"But he doesn't see that... Peeta our families... what if?"

Tugging her close, he lays a calming kiss into her hair. "Katniss, we're playing his game, even though _we've_ made it real. We've been nothing but the perfect victors that he wants us to be. It wouldn't be in his best interest to do anything to us or to our families. The people would rebel against him."

She nods, though it's reluctant at best and wraps her arms around him, falling into the support that he offers. They part and as she reaches for the door handle he stills her hand with his own. Looking up in confusion he smirks and grabs her, kissing her like his life depends on it. Just as she's about to let him take her amongst the coats, he ends the impromptu session.

Steadying her, he gives her one last kiss. "Now, we can leave."

She doesn't register the meaning until they emerge from the closet to a swarm of photographers. Still under the shroud of desire, her face is flushed, her lips plump and bruised from the pressure of his mouth. She knows what people will think when they see the pictures in the papers tomorrow.

 _"He's a genius,"_ she accepts, though her cheeks redden with embarrassment.

He's just made it look all the more real.

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That night they make love with a ferocity that they'd yet to discover. Yes, it's the usual combination of affection and stress relief, but there's a more powerful emotion that threads its way through their joining that night.

That feeling once so new it went undefined now blossoms in her chest. Its been growing steadily every day; fed by every touch and every look that they've shared. She has yet to give it a voice or a name though, she fears that by doing so it will destroy her. But tonight she realizes that it isn't here for her destruction, but rather her salvation.

So just as she reaches her peak, one hand grasping the headboard the other wrapped tightly around his back, she whispers with a quiet intensity, "God, I'm so in love with you."

The minute the words tumble from her lips, she feels the immediate rush of relief and joy that follows an emotional cleanse.

"No, don't stop," she begs, tightening her legs around his waist when he pauses mid stride. Her eyes open to see him peering down at her, a gaze so penetrating that she can feel it resonating in the very depths of her being.

The hand that gripped her hip seconds ago, moves to cradle the back of her head holding her gaze firmly to his.

"I think the universe brought me into existence for you because my life means absolutely nothing without you in it. You are the most important thing to me Katniss Everdeen and I hope I can live a life worthy of your love."

There are no words to duplicate the beauty of his admission. Instead she lets her tears fall freely in his presence. As he resumes his pace, with every thrust she cries out, "I love you."

As their bodies connect, so too do their souls. Their joined hearts now sing a song of old even as their bodies move to a rhythm still so new to them both.

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In the bowels of the Tribute center, Fletcher Rind and his partner Merrick Boyle sat transfixed for a second before removing their headphones. Katniss's voice could still be heard through the listening devices as they laid them on top of the control panel.

They'd thought it was fake, the whole star crossed lovers bit. They'd been told it was fake.

"I want you to record everything," Snow had said to them. "They'll slip up and I want the whole country to be present when I expose them for the liars they are."

They hadn't been expecting anything interesting, so the two had taken a lengthy break only to return to the breathy sounds of the young lovers reverberating through the small basement room.

"Are they...?" Merrick had asked, arching his eyebrows in question.

"No way." Fletcher had smirked. "Boy's probably just watching some of the Capital's finest."

But, the soft guttural moans of 'Peeta' quickly denounced that idea. Both of their heads had snapped up then, eyes widening in awareness.

Chuckling to himself, "I guess they're just trying to make good of a bad situation, huh?" Merrick teased.

They'd have ignored the pair, simply muting them for now, if it weren't for Katniss's tender confession. They were floored by the vulnerability in her voice and touched by Peeta's response to her.

This moment was meant to be private, for no one else and Fletcher would not betray true love for any man. It was so rare in this world.

He would know.

He too was once young and in love with the constant fear of Snow's wrath colouring his life. He'd run away from his home district and changed his name to be with the girl he loved. No one, but the two of them knew the truth. Their president was firm on inter district relationships, he would be killed if anyone found out.

"Let's... let them have this, yeah?" and Merrick had nodded in agreement, switching off the recording button. They could always edit the tapes before they gave them over.

They'd just settled in to a quiet game of cards when the door was flung open by a peacekeeper. They barely had time to fling their headphones back on before the president himself entered.

"Good evening gentlemen. Shall we see what our victors are up to tonight?" He asked smugly.

Fletcher blanched, fearing the repercussions for his moment of empathy. Snow snapped his fingers, gesturing at his headset and he immediately handed it over, knowing that there would be no sound coming through. The old man placed them on his head, deep in thought for a bit before trying but failing to mask a look of shock.

"Well, well Ms. Everdeen, aren't we just full of surprises," he sneered, before handing the device back.

He left without another word, the peacekeepers following behind. The door was shut and the room returned so quickly to its original state that he thought for a second he'd imagined the whole thing. He glanced towards Merrick who looked just as taken aback. His hand still hovered over the record button.

He must have surreptitiously flipped it back on when no one was looking. The glaring red light served as evidence that Snow had heard exactly what they'd been attempting to protect.

"We tried, buddy," Merrick offered. "That's all any of us can do."


	7. Chapter 7

He never thought he'd be the homesick type, but after weeks on the road even the biting cold that whips at his cheeks and burns his lungs feels welcoming.

There's a huge crowd awaiting them as they disembark the train in Twelve. He can easily spot Katniss' family amongst them and he can't help the slight pang of melancholy he feels knowing that no one will be there for him.

Feeling dejected, he stands beside Katniss awkwardly, watching as she's embraced by her own loved ones. Before he can wallow too deeply in his sadness though, he's encompassed by Mrs. Everdeen in a hug that feels oddly familial.

"Welcome back," she softly smiles, patting his cheek.

Primrose is next, throwing herself at him so fast that she nearly throws them both off balance.

She excitedly gushes, "You're going to be my brother now." He smiles down at the young girl and gently ruffles her hair with affection.

His eyes finally land on Gale and he extends his hand in greeting only for it to be ignored. Reaching over Katniss grabs the hand that's still hanging in midair and smiles at him. He recalls how different his life was the last time he returned to Twelve, sad and heartbroken. In reality it's only been six months, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

He's broken from his reverie by a sharp tug on his hand.

"Come on," Katniss laughs, "Let's go home."

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The next few months go by swiftly and life falls into a pleasant state of normalcy.

He and Katniss for all intents and purposes are living together though her mother isn't exactly pleased. She thinks Katniss is much too young for a boyfriend, far less for a fiancé and she cannot condone them sharing a house. She was forced to relent however, after she grew tired of fetching him every night to help with her daughter's nightmares. After two weeks of sleepless nights she'd simply walked a sleepy Katniss over to his house and into his arms with a warning that he take good care of her.

"I don't know any other way," he'd said.

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Their new lives very much resemble their old, except he gets to fall asleep and wake up next to the girl that he loves every day.

They find a routine.

She hunts, he bakes, they make love whenever and wherever, and they have supper together every night, either alone or with her family and Haymitch.

"It's something resembling perfect," he thinks out loud one night.

"Hmm?" Katniss responds from her spot against his chest.

"I was just thinking that what we have right now, it's pretty perfect."

She cuddles deeper into his side, hooking a leg over his in the process. "As perfect as we can make it I guess."

Her reply gives him the nerve to broach something that's been on his mind for some time. "We could maybe make it even more perfect..."

"Oh yeah? And how is that?" she teases.

"Wecouldgetmarried?!" The words tumble out of his mouth in a rushed question.

She exhales deeply, "Peeta we already are."

She's dreading the pomp and circumstance that will come from the Capital wedding that's expected of them and any mention of it makes her uncomfortable.

He pulls her closer, taking her left hand in his and running his thumb over her ring finger. The minute they'd returned home she'd plucked the ridiculously obscene Capital ring off of her hand and now the only Everdeen who wore it was Buttercup on a ribbon around his neck. Though Prim thought he looked darling, the cat seemed to agree with Katniss and kept trying to paw it off.

"I mean for real. Just for us. I want to put my ring on your finger. Not that gaudy globe they gave me to give you."

She lifts her head off his chest. Her gaze wide and searching.

A wedding ring means something different in Twelve than in the Capital. There it's a show of stature and wealth, but here at home it symbolizes something much deeper. The ring is forged from the master key to a man's home. The meeting of the two ends to form the circle reflecting the bonding of the pair and the fact that his heart is now closed to anyone else. A man's wife becomes the literal keeper of his heart and his home.

"Peeta... I..."

"You don't have to say anything now. I just want you to know that I want it to be real. But, I want you to marry me because you want to not because someone's forcing you to. I love you and I want you to feel like you have a choice."

So much of their freedom has been taken away from them their whole lives and even more so this past year. Knowing that he wants her to be able to make this one decision for herself makes her fall for him that much more. It's the way that he loves her, that calm steady force that he naturally exudes, that tempers her own erratic heart at the mention of marriage.

She's lucky.

She knows that of all the men she could have been bound to, fate saw fit to give her the best one. It's that notion that helps her to find her answer.

Leaning up she plants a kiss on his jaw before settling back down.

"I'll allow it."

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They plan a simple toasting for the following month. He'll bake the traditional bread and she'll wear the same gown that her own mother did when she sat by another fire years ago and pledged herself to Mr. Everdeen.

News of the toasting puts Mrs. Everdeen a little more at ease with him and Katniss' living arrangements, but only because it legitimizes their domestic coupling. She still thinks her daughter's too young to be settling down. Ironically enough, she is the one that drops off their newly minted license, putting her wariness aside.

As the day draws near, he finds himself giddy with excitement. Even Katniss finds that she can't be annoyed with him when he compulsively reviews plans for their big day because his mood is just so infectious. He doubles and triple checks all the details for the wedding, including her ring that he keeps hidden in the back of his sock drawer. He's certain that nothing can go wrong.

That is until Katniss gets sick.

* * *

I absolutely love all the feedback! I just want to thank everyone who has liked, faved, messaged me and/or left a review for this story. It means the world to me.

Your reviews genuinely make my day, so keep them coming :)


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: If anyone is familiar with the books or show Outlander you'll know that one of the main characters has the key to his home turned into a wedding ring for his new bride. Although in the series it's done merely because they have to marry quickly and he has no other alternative, I really liked the symbolism that could be drawn from it. The very idea that you have bound yourself so wholly to another human being that you trust them with the key to your heart and your home was something that I thought would play well here, especially as Twelve is a district steeped in traditions from their forefathers, so I appropriated it here, though I did add much more significance to it._

* * *

Her illness started off with dull headaches that evolved into excruciating migraines that would debilitate her for days on end. Then came the dizziness and the blurred vision and on more than one occasion Peeta had had to fling himself across the room to catch her as her body buckled to the ground as she blacked out.

Then the nausea hit.

It came on without notice, producing violent bouts of sickness that left her weak and breathless. Nothing but the plainest bread and water would stay down on a good day. She's a little thing to begin with and the rapid weight loss quickly becomes evident. Peeta's made aware of each new rib every time he leads her from the bathroom to their bed.

Mrs. Everdeen comes and goes, checking in as often as she can. She'd thought it was the flu at first because of the body aches and the fever, but when the illness extends beyond a reasonable duration, she begins to grow increasingly nervous.

Haymitch does as well.

He doesn't want to scare them more than they already are, but he fears that Katniss' illness isn't accidental. This may finally be Snow's retaliation.

He is still angry over being outsmarted by two kids from the backwoods of Twelve. From experience, Haymitch knows that the man hates being made to look foolish. That coupled with his relentless bloodlust spells certain disaster for anyone he sets his sights on. He was never one for showy deaths their president, but he does love his victims to suffer; and that's exactly what is happening to Katniss. Snow will spin it as a sad twist of fate. A tragic end to the star crossed lovers.

But, Haymitch can't allow that to happen. He loves the girl like she's his own and he will fight for her survival. As much as it pains him, he thinks they'll find answers in the Capital. With no cure in sight, he approaches the elder Everdeen about seeking care outside of the district for her daughter.

Her rejection of the idea is fast and without remorse. "We'd be placing the lamb right in the butcher's hands," she contends.

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A month in and Katniss's health starts to take a turn for the better. Her mother has been feeding her a steady stream of herbal remedies to combat her myriad of symptoms and it seems like one or more of them is finally working.

The first day that she feels well enough to leave the house, she sends Peeta away, removing the loose nightgown that's become her costume of choice the past couple of weeks by herself. She hasn't seen her body in a while. Her husband has been the one helping to bath and dress her in her weakened state so now she takes the opportunity to see the damage that's been done to her figure. She's silently taking it all in when she notices it for the first time.

Moving to stand in front of the mirror she angles her body this way and that to make sure she's not imagining it. Squinting in confusion, she glances at the discernible bump, just below her prominent ribcage. She straightens her spine, thinking it's her bad posture, but that does nothing to lessen the effect. The rounded silhouette is unavoidable against her starved frame.

"Peeta!" she cries out. She wants to know if he will see the same thing that she does.

He darts up the stairs as quickly as his artificial leg will allow, skidding to a halt beside her.

"What's the matter? Is everything ok? Do you want me to get your mother?"

"I don't know. No. Yes. No. Maybe?" she responds to each of his individual questions.

"Do you see this?" She points to her stomach.

He comes to stand behind her, wrapping his arms across her torso. "I know. You lost a lot of weight, but now that you're starting to be able to keep foods down again, you'll gain it back in no time."

"Not that," she answers with a small amount of irritation. She unwinds his arms from around her, clutching his hands and bringing them to cup her abdomen. "This."

There's a rising tide of terror blooming in her and she fears that he will confirm her worse fears.

His hands react as if they've been burnt and he yanks them back from her body.

"Peeta...," his name is spoken in a tremulous whisper and tears are beginning to gather in her eyes at an alarming rate. Assembling his composure he moves forward to pull her tightly to his body.

"Katniss... is that? Are you...? I mean, are we...? He amends. "Shit..." He breathes out.

The uncharacteristic swear has her jerking her head from his shoulder to look up at him.

"You're mother's going to kill me."

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"I gave you condoms?!" Is the first thing that Haymitch says to them when they deliver the news.

Mrs. Everdeen had confirmed their suspicions the day before. She's highly disappointed in them and a little in herself as well for not figuring it out sooner.

"Aside from the nausea, I've never seen symptoms like yours with pregnancy," she'd remarked, shaking her head in disbelief. That had then prompted a very difficult conversation about responsibility and accountability that had left them both mortified and remorseful. She'd then left them to consult her books.

Now they sat in Haymitch's living room while he took his turn to berate them on their careless behaviour.

"How did this even happened?!" Did you run out? Why didn't you come and ask me for more?"

Peeta bashfully admits that they didn't know what they were or how to use them.

Haymitch pauses. He'd overlooked the fact that contraceptives and the use of them weren't really discussed in their tiny district. They were black market accessible only in a nation that aggressively promoted reproduction. He himself had only been introduced to them in the Capital after his Games. There, sex was treated like a hobby and it was necessary to take precaution with any and all partners. Unfortunately, that concept did not extend into the Districts.

Sighing he hesitantly questioned if they hadn't thought about possible consequences when they decided to become intimate. Refusing to make eye contact with his Mentor, Peeta mumbled that they had thought about it, so they did the only thing they knew how to prevent it.

"PULLING OUT IS NOT AN AFFECTIVE FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL!" Haymitch's frustration with the situation forcing him to raise his voice.

His tone causes the pair to wince painfully and Peeta hugs Katniss closer to him. The girl has been on the verge of tears since she sat down and now salty tracks line her cheeks in the wake of the fat drops that gather in her lap.

Dragging a hand down his weary features, he plops down in an armchair in defeat.

"You know you two will be expected to mentor from now on? How are you supposed to do that with a baby?"

"We haven't- thought that through yet," Peeta confesses.

"You know what happens to Victor's kids don't you? Imagine the offspring of two?!" Acid burns hot in his stomach just thinking about it.

What can we do Haymitch?" Peeta asks.

But the question isn't all that simple.

"Go home, get some rest and..." getting up he makes his way over to the mantle, "give me time to think."

The couple quietly leaves and Haymitch moves to pour himself a stiff drink. That baby growing in Katniss's belly has just significantly pushed up his timeframe.

"Time to make some phone calls," he resigns, making his way to the kitchen


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: Sorry for not posting last week. No excuses. Just..life... To compensate, this is the longest chapter to date._

 **Disclaimer:** _I wanted to let everyone know that t_ _his chapter touches on the subject of abortion. However brief, I wanted to make sure that readers were aware as it is a delicate subject._

* * *

"It looks like you're about twelve- thirteen weeks along." Mrs. Everdeen states as she gently palpates Katniss' abdomen.

Though she'd verified the pregnancy, she hadn't had a chance to give Katniss a full exam. "Baby should be born sometime in mid-August, give or take a week," she continues, turning to flip through the pages of a calendar.

Using her finger as a place holder she flips a few month back, quirking her eyebrow at her daughter. "That would mean you conceived pretty soon after you returned home."

Katniss' cheeks burn under her mother's scrutiny and Peeta's sudden keen interest in the wallpaper hides his own attempt at ignorance. He helps her to sit up on the table taking a seat next to her while Mrs. Everdeen slips her tools back into her bag before turning to the couple. Taking a deep breath she regards them warily.

"Katniss, your blood pressure is quite high. That's more than likely the culprit of the headaches and the blackouts. You're also underweight. The baby will take what it needs from you regardless of your well being, but _your_ low weight can cause the baby to be on the small side or even preterm so we'll need to put you on a specific diet to make sure both you and the baby are getting the nutrients that you need."

"I'll make sure she's eating enough." Peeta supplies, nodding solemnly as he takes in the information.

"Not just that, but any form of stress right now could be detrimental as it is acutely correlated with her blood pressure. There are a host of complications that can arise from that alone. Katniss, you'll need to be monitored regularly. Your situation is what we would consider high risk."

"Could I still lose it?" Katniss asks, voice wavering with fear. Her nerves are frayed and her leg shakes so aggressively that Peeta has to place a hand on it to steady her. "I thought after 3 months it was safe?"

"It's _saf-er_ after 3 months, but that doesn't mean something can't happen afterwards." At Katniss' strangled sob, her mother moves forward to take her hands.

"I'm not trying to scare you dear. I just want you to be aware. Between myself and Prim and I'm sure Haymitch we'll try to help you both through this as best as we can. But Katniss, you _know_ you have options. You don't have to have this baby especially if it's to the detriment of your health."

Katniss doesn't reply, instead allowing Peeta to squeeze her cold hands in his own.

"You know I wished you had waited to do this. But you're both nearly adults now and you're old enough to make your own decisions. I can't make them for you. I just hope that you two really think it through. Whatever your choice may be, I'll be here regardless."

They both nod in agreement and take their leave with Katniss walking out ahead of him.

"But, Peeta..."

He turns his head back in the direction of Mrs. Everdeen's voice, "Yes?"

"You better marry my daughter before her water breaks."

He musters a brief smile at her attempt at levity. "Yes ma'am," he responds.

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Supper is a somber affair that night, both he and Katniss having been lost to their own thoughts. There is so much they need to discuss and yet he dreads the difficulty of the conversation to come. There is one pressing issue however that he knows holds precedent above all the others. Clearing his throat he looks over at her.

"Katniss?" His voice cuts through her trance and her fork pauses midway as she pushes the meal around her plate.

"I know this is a shock to you. To me. But, we need to form a resolve where the baby is concerned."

He steels himself in preparation for his next words. They twist at his heart even thinking about it and he fears that she may have already made the choice and has yet to vocalize it.

"I know you don't want this. Kids were never part of your plan. Your mother," he hesitates, "she said that it's not too late if you wanted to..."

She cuts him off with a 'no' so fierce that it's more growl than word. Her hands fly to her belly and she splays her palms protectively against the small bump.

"Katniss, I wasn't lying before. I always want you to have a choice. I don't want you to feel like you have to go through with this for me or anyone else."

She peers up at him and it's then he can see the tears that line her face, angry tears if he's not mistaken from the fiery spark in her eyes.

Before he can comment she spits, "Don't you dare project your own insecurities on me Peeta Mellark. If you don't want this child, the door's right there. You can leave anytime!"

Stunned by her outburst, he gapes at her in astonishment, before sliding down to his knees beside her chair.

Resting a hand on her leg for support he starts, "Katniss, trust me when I say, it's the last thing that I want. After the initial surprise, I was- _am_ really excited." Placing his hands over hers as they lay on her belly he continues, "The thought of a little you or me? I mean, Katniss how could I not be immediately in love with it?"

"And what, you assumed I can't feel the same way? What would make you think that I could get rid of it so easily? Do you think me that unfeeling? Yes, I'm scared, but the very thought of destroying something that you gave me, something that we created together never once crossed my mind."

Rising angrily, she throws her napkin on the table before storming off in to the living room.

He follows quickly behind, gently tugging on her hand until she joins him on the couch.

"Kat, please listen to me," he begs. "This- what we have right now? Is something that I always dreamed about. You as my wife and with a baby on the way? It's everything I've always wanted. It's the only thing I'm grateful for the Games for. Without them, I'd never have any of this. I'd never have a family of my own."

Taking her hands in his, he pulls her towards him, hoping to close the distance between their bodies with both his words and his actions.

"But my happiness means nothing if yours is compromised. I don't think you unfeeling my love. In fact, I think you feel more than the rest of us, you just don't show it. Trust me when I say I'm not questioning your ability to love our child. I just wanted to make sure that you knew you had options. "

Jumping to her feet, she levels him with a harsh gaze. "Peeta, are you seriously so unselfish that you'd step aside as I terminated this pregnancy, knowing how much you already love this child, just because I might have reservations? I swear you make me want to shake you sometimes with your whole martyr attitude."

When he attempts to interject, she raises her hand to silence him. "No, I listened to you, now you'll do the same for me." He relents, waiting for her to continue.

"Did you ever wonder why I stayed away from you when we got home after the Games? It was because I knew if I saw you in person I'd be reminded of the pain I'd caused you. You're so good Peeta and every time I saw you I was reminded of what an awful person I was that I could hurt someone as pure and innocent as you. And it was fine for a while, but I missed you so much that I started going into town just so that I could be near you. You might not have seen me, but I saw you. Everyday. Placing cakes in the window, waiting on customers, even feeding the pigs in the back. I saw it all. It was almost like a punishment being that close, but still so far away. Really, it was just my turn to watch the one I love live their life from afar."

At his dazed expression, she chuckles, "Yes, on some level I already knew I loved you. I just couldn't bring myself to admit it. I kept waiting for you to approach me, to take me in your arms again and say that everything was alright and that you forgave me because you are and will always be the better person between us. But, you didn't and the distance kept getting greater until the Victory tour press junket came along. That first day at the Justice Building, the way you looked at me…"

Her face pales at the memory and he hugs her to him tightly. Her next words are decidedly thick and muffled into his neck.

"It killed me knowing that I'd done that to you. I made a promise to myself that I would never do anything ever again to hurt you. Even if you never came back to me. I'd make sure I lived a life that would never bring you pain again because when you hurt, I hurt."

She looks up at him, not having been brave enough to look him in the eye while she was laying herself bare, worried at what she'll find there. But, all she sees is love, albeit slightly bittersweet, shining back at her.

Tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear he cups her face tenderly, "Baby, even after everything that happened, you have to know that no amount of hurt would make me not love you. I wanted to give you space. I hoped that you might come around, but I thought it best to let you lead the way. I didn't want to force myself on you after everything..."

"So basically we were both miserable waiting for the other person to make a move?" She asks.

"I guess," he shrugs.

"Then we're both stupid," she replies sardonically. "How are we going to be parents if we can't even tell what the other is thinking?"

"Katniss, do you think our parents knew everything when they had us? _No_. They had to learn along the way, just like everyone else does and just like we will."

"Peeta," she begins, worrying her lip.

"Hmm?"

"I… I want you to know that I'm terrified about this," she relays, touching her belly, "But… I'm not unhappy. I don't want you to think that…that I'm upset or that I resent it. There's actually a part of me that is excited to do this with you."

She pauses and he can feel her taking a deep breath in preparation for what she's about to say next.

"I can count the number of things I love on one hand. I never wanted to add anyone else to that list because I thought the more you loved the more you had to lose. And I was right in a way, but now with you and this new life, it also gives me something to fight harder for. I want you both. I _need_ you both. I'd thought that a loveless existence was what I wanted. I'd planned on it. Now I can't imagine what my life would be like without it."

He leans down, carding his fingers through her hair before grasping her nape and gently pulling her back to look up at him.

"It's funny, I'd kind of resigned myself to the same fate. I wouldn't have found love. I'd have found contentment just watching you be happy."

"Please, you would have found some pretty little merchant girl and you two would've been singlehandedly repopulating the world. You'd have forgotten all about me in time," she counters.

"Absolutely not," he shakes his head vigorously. "It was always you. I wouldn't have married and the only children I would ever want were yours. You've owned my heart since I was five years old. I could never give it to anyone else."

"Technically, I can't own it without the key," she cheekily replies.

"Well, that's an easy solution then."

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That night he lights a fire and they kneel before it, toasting the bread that will bind their lives together in an even more intimate embrace than they've known.

They'd told no one.

The decision left unspoken even as Katniss observed him kneading the dough for the bread.

A sheer thrill of possessiveness tingles up her spine as he slides the ring on her finger. He holds her hand in his, kissing the spot where the band lays. "Now, I'm all yours."

They make love for the first time as man and wife right there in front of the fire. As he explores her body he kisses his way to her belly, resting his cheek against the spot where their child lays just under.

"Hello, little one. I'm not sure how good of a father I'll be, but what I do know is that the best thing I can do for you is to love your mother. And I do. So very, very much. We have bound our lives together and she is as much mine as I am hers, just as you are ours. Always."

He plants one last kiss on her stomach before moving up to caress her face and the tears the he knows will be there.

"How did I get so lucky?" She hoarsely whispers to him running her fingers across his brow.

"I ask myself that every day," he answers, lowering his mouth to hers.

* * *

 _AN: I had a tough time with this chapter. Though much of this story is already written, I was never happy with the conversation that Peeta and Katniss have about the baby. It's been overhauled and edited more times than any other chapter. I just thought realistically that with their age and their circumstance 'the talk' was a necessary evil. Especially as our Katniss isn't known for being particularly effusive. I also wanted them to discuss the longing that they'd both felt upon returning home from the Games. Please let me know if it sounded honest and organic because that was my intention. I didn't want it to seem forced at all._


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: I was feeling in the giving mood and decided to post an extra chapter this weekend :)_

 _It's purely a fluffy filler, but was necessary to propel the plot line. Enjoy!_

* * *

For the next several days they are lost to the world. Their house becoming their own private island as they bask in the glory of their new found marital status. Katniss vaguely hears her mother's and then later her sister's voices calling her name the following afternoon, but they go ignored just like the phone that rings all day does.

Oblivious to the doorbell's constant ringing, they don't realize someone's there until the incessant chiming stops at the end of their second day of solitude. The ensuing silence is absolute for a moment only to be replaced by hard unrelenting pounding.

"I'm going to break this door down if you don't answer me," Haymitch threatens from the porch, "I have an axe."

She darts a glance at the door and then at her husband. "Go, before he makes good on his threat," she shoos him. Throwing on a pair of pants, Peeta rushes to the door.

"Hey... Haymitch," he offers with a feigned air of nonchalance. "Nice of you to stop by."

"Wha-? Nice of me to stop by?! Didn't you hear the door? What the heck you two been doing in there? Katniss's mother is worried sick."

He pushes his way inside before Peeta can stop him, quickly taking in the scene in front of him. Blankets and pillows haphazardly lie on the floor, vestiges of a makeshift bed, and in the middle of it all is Katniss, steadfastly gripping the sheet wrapped around her otherwise bare body.

"Jeez, you two. What are trying to do? Knock her up again? You know it don't work like that boy. She's gotta pop that one out first."

"We... umm... we're celebrating," Peeta reluctantly admits.

"Celebrating? Celebrating what?" He looks over at Katniss who hasn't moved, but is combing her fingers through her hair in an attempt to smooth it down. It's then that he spots the ring, glinting in the light. He splits a glance between the two in an attempt to hide his wonder.

"Well, alright then." Earlier hostility forgotten, he turns around and heads for the door. "Katniss, call your mother. She'd much prefer to hear the news from you than me."

Hand on the knob he turns back to them, "Take care of each other, okay?" His voice is low and full of something akin to longing. "Not everyone gets to be with the one they love." He nods at them in a gesture of goodbye, pulling the door in behind him.

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And that's exactly what they do in the following weeks. Take care of each other.

Yes, they've lived together for months, but now that they're married they find a new level of love and intimacy that they didn't have previously. They touch more, they laugh more and oddly enough they speak less. It's as if they've evolved to some higher plane of emotional existence wherein a simple look can convey so much more than words.

She finds herself wanting to be near him all the time, even during the few hours that he's off at the bakery. So she finds herself accompanying him more often than not. She was nervous at first not knowing how she would be received by his family, but Peeta's father and brothers took to her immediately. They were incredibly sweet and welcoming and their mutual excitement over the baby is infectious, especially Mr. Mellark's. Ever the proud grandfather to be, he's taken it upon himself to tell every customer about the new addition to the family.

"Have you met Katniss?" He asks the florist's wife, wrapping his arm around his daughter in law's shoulders, "She's married to my Peeta. Pretty isn't she?" He beams pinching her chin. "They're expecting a baby in the summer."

To her astonishment, even Mrs. Mellark has warmed to her, if only tepidly. Katniss' saving grace being the baby that she carries. Her new mother in law hopes it's a girl.

"I always wanted a girl," she confesses. "I had hoped Peeta would have been one. I even bought some dresses and bonnets, praying that he would be. When the midwife put him in my arms I was never more disappointed to see a penis in my life."

Katniss blushes at Mrs. Mellark's language, but can't help the anger at her callous attitude towards her youngest son.

"Peeta and I don't care what it is as long as he or she is healthy. Any child is a blessing, regardless of what's between its legs."

She can see Peeta small smirk from across the counter. She leaves the older woman to her resentments and moves to join him.

He promised to teach her how to make cheese buns that day.

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When the warm blush of spring settles over the town, Haymitch starts prepping them for their first season as mentors. They have resigned themselves to their fate, promising to make their life in between the Games the best it can possibly be.

For now they are happy, their child is healthy and their families go to bed each night with full bellies. It is as comfortable a life as they could have imagined. Their worries now relegated to what colour to paint the nursery.

Until the reading of the card that is.


	11. Chapter 11

The day of the reading finds Katniss is in good spirits even with the grave events planned for later that evening. As she's transitioned into her second trimester, gone are the bouts of morning sickness and immense fatigue. The only issue they have now are her odd cravings that seem to have no rhyme or reason, or manners for that matter, especially when they decide to come calling at three in the morning.

Her soft melodic voice greets him through the open kitchen window where he stands frosting a cake for their dessert that night. He looks up catching her gaze as she hangs laundry on the line never pausing in song even as her face slowly breaks in to a smile at his attention.

"Is the cake ready yet?" She asks, and he can't help but laugh.

"It's a good thing you married a baker." He shouts back, earning him a pointed scowl.

It's all in jest of course. He'd happily make her anything her heart desires. Most of her requests are for sweets these days and he's only too happy to oblige. Especially as her cheeks have finally started to fill out and her waist has thickened noticeably where their child grows.

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Haymitch and her family have come over for supper; everyone wanting to be together for the announcement. Just as they're clearing the table, the television clicks on, the seal of Panem cresting the screen. President Snow appears on a stage regally decorated for the occasion. His expression smug as he recites the same tired Games rhetoric, though this year the speech is longer to accommodate the added significance of the Quarter Quell. They watch as a young boy approaches the President with the ceremonial box. Snow takes a minute after withdrawing the contents, his gaze lingering over the card. The slight upturn of his mouth an indication that he is clearly relishing whatever despicable plans are printed on the slip of paper.

And then he opens his mouth.

Peeta doesn't register anything after the realization sinks in. His body has gone numb and his hands grip the back of the chair so hard the wood squeaks in protest. He vaguely hears his wife's name being screamed, but it seems too far away for it to be real.

Haymitch appears in his face.

He's shouting at him, he can see his lips moving, but the words never reach his ears. He feels like he's under water, everything is moving in slow motion and he can't respond, his body is heavy and uncooperative.

He tries to focus.

Haymitch must be saying something important to him because it seems like he's yelling, his face has gone purple and spittle flies from his lips with each word. He's concentrating so hard on Haymitch's mouth that he doesn't see him lift his hand until it connects with his cheek so hard that he acknowledges the sound before the pain. Immediately, the world shifts back into sharp detail and he gazes around the chaos that surrounds him.

"Boy. Hey boy. Get it together," Haymitch yells, shaking his shoulders violently. "You're girl's gone down. She needs you, pull it together."

As the words slowly sink in, Peeta shoves the man aside, leaping over the broken china that he'd dropped in his shock. Racing to the living room, he notes Prim sitting with Katniss' head in her lap. She's quietly sobbing as Mrs. Everdeen waves something small and white under his wife's nose. Rushing to her side he gathers her up in his arms.

"Baby please wake up, please. I need you," he cries over and over again. Ordinarily he'd be embarrassed to be seen crying in front of others, but his fear for his wife and child overrides his ego.

He feels her breath his name against his ear and pulls away to look at her. Her eyes flutter open and the minute her gaze centers she clings to him, sobbing hard and persistently.

"Peeta you've got to get her to calm down," his mother in law warns. "Her blood pressure is going to get too high."

Prim gestures for him to lift Katniss up and he takes her place, hugging his weeping wife tightly to him.

"Honey, breath, breath," he tells her. "Think about the baby. I know it's bad right now, but you have to settle down."

He continues to whisper words of comfort in her ear as Prim brings over a cool cloth and settles it on her sister's head. Not knowing what else to do she moves closer to her mother, clutching at her skirt like a child much younger in age.

Slowly Katniss's sobs fade into hiccups and though she still hangs onto him fiercely, he manages to prop her up on his lap so that he can rub her back. Haymitch sits in a corner nursing a drink and the Everdeen's share a chair with Prim perched on the armrest.

They all look at him in despondent silence.

There is nothing that can be said that would make the situation any easier and he's grateful that no one is trying. Keeping one hand on her back he snakes his other under Katniss' knees, stands and walks upstairs to their bedroom.

The others can lock up.

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He and Katniss spend the next couple of days as if in a fugue state. They try to ignore the news for the most part, but it never works for long and it's almost a game as to who will fall apart first. Their families leave them alone for now, having been warned by Haymitch that that they need each other more than anyone else right now.

Katniss cries every day and he's found her on more than one occasion huddled in a corner, clutching her belly and singing to their child as tears fall unrelentingly down her face. He's terrified about the stress that she and the baby are under.

Days later, he finds himself in the kitchen where he's taken to feverishly baking in an attempt to maintain his sanity.

"Peeta," he hears her calling.

"I'm in the kitchen," he calls back.

He hears her tread as she walks down the hallway. "Peeta have you been painting? They're spots all over the floor."

"Painting? No, I haven't touched it in days," he answers as he turns to face her. His eyes immediately widen.

"What?" She asks, quirking her head.

"Kat...," he whispers, pointing at the floor beneath her. Her gaze follows his and she bends over just in time to see little red drops slowly drip from between her legs, the contrast against the white tile floor jarring in its effect. When she rolls back up all the colour has been drained from her face. Rushing to her side, he loops one hand around her waist, holding her hand with the other and guides her to a chair.

He runs to the laundry room and grabs a clean towel helping her to place it between her legs.

"I have to go get your mother," he tells her.

When he makes to leave she grabs his hand. "Peeta what if I'm losing the baby," she chokes.

"Shh, the baby is strong, just like you. We don't know what's going on yet."

He drops a kiss to her head and flees the house.

He doesn't know if he believes his own self as hypocritical tears sting his eyes as he races to get help. He tries not to dwell on the fact that Katniss said 'baby' instead of 'it' for the first time.

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"It looks like a mild form of placental abruption," Mrs. Everdeen explains to him and Haymitch later. Katniss is currently asleep upstairs having been placed on bedrest for the next couple of days.

"Placental what?" Haymitch asks.

"Abruption," she repeats. It's when the placenta pulls away from the walls of the uterus. In Katniss' case it's mild, but with all the stress she's under I'm amazed it's not worse."

"Is it because of her pressure then?" Peeta queries.

"Yes, high blood pressure can definitely cause the condition. For now the bedrest should help and the good news is that the bleeding has stopped."

"And the baby?" Fear evident in his tone.

She walks over to him, grasping his hands that he mercilessly wrings in his lap.

"The baby is fine." Her admission has him taking his first breath in what feels like hours.

"But, we have to monitor Katniss closely. She's not far enough along that if this were to be more severe we could deliver the baby. We need that little one to cook for as long as possible."

"Yes, I-I know." he stutters out, his voice catching. Mrs. Everdeen pulls him into a tight hug, rubbing his back soothingly.

"She'll be ok." His mother in law tells him. But he's not so sure. As she pulls away from the embrace, he musters up a smile more for her than for him that he drops the minute she leaves the room.

Peeta turns to his mentor. "You have to help me save her," he begs.

"I'm trying everything I can boy."

"Well you need to try harder. That's my wife and child!" he shouts.

At Haymitch's glare, he lowers his voice. "Please? You have to figure out a way so that she doesn't have to go into another arena."

Sighing, Haymitch takes a seat across from him. "There's not much I can do from here where that's concerned. Our best bet will come when we're in the Capital. I have a feeling that once the public actually sees our little Mockingjay is with child we'll have a strong support base to have Katniss' participation waved from the Games."

"I don't like hedging our bets on the whims of the Capital."

"Yeah, well we don't really have another option now do we?"

Haymitch drops his head to the back of the couch, flinging an arm over his eyes in weary frustration.

Oblivious, Peeta takes a moment to study the old man. It looks like their mentor's aged ten years in the last couple of days. Deep lines that scream of sleep deprivation mar his face and the six o' clock shadow that he normally sports has seen a few too many sundown's. He knows that Haymitch is trying his best, but the situation calls for so much more than that.

Something Haymitch said nags at him and he feels the need to address it.

"Mockingjay?"

"What?" Haymitch asks, lifting his head.

"Mockingjay. You called Katniss 'our little Mockingjay."

Wrinkling his forehead, Haymitch responds, "Just a nickname."

Peeta can't quite put his finger on it, but there's something off about that answer.

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Haymitch isn't surprised when he receives a call from the girl in the wee hours of the morning. From her whispered voice he knows that she must have snuck out of bed to phone him.

"Haymitch..." She pleads. His name is more than enough. He's acutely aware of what she's asking.

"I know sweetheart, I know," he sighs into the phone.

"I can't do this without him. He means everything to me!" Tears clog her throat and she takes a minute to clear them, "We need to protect him."

He agrees. He knows just how important it is to protect the ones you love the most.


	12. Chapter 12

Effie cries right up until they leave for the stage the morning of the Reaping. They hadn't called to tell her the news, Haymitch fearing that her lines might be tapped.

"I want Snow to be caught off guard," he'd stated.

She'd been prepared to admonish them all when she'd rang the doorbell first at Katniss' house and then Haymitch's only to find no one there. She'd thought that they were playing some kind of trick on her. Between having to fight with peacekeepers just to be able to see her victor's and the heavy fear and nausea that had plagued her since the reading, her nerves are shot and she has no tolerance for games of any kind. When she'd finally made it over to Peeta's she'd left propriety on the porch and simply walked into the house.

She'd been greeted by four sullen faces.

"Hey Eff, sorry. I meant to call and say meet us over here," Haymitch said.

"Where's Katniss?" She asked looking around.

"I'm right here Effie."

Turning to follow the voice emerging from the kitchen, her body ran cold as she took in the girl's visage. She blindly reaches for Haymitch's hand. To his credit he's right behind her, having had the foresight to wind his arms around her, holding her up in preparation for when her legs inevitably give out.

Recovering slightly, she cries, "Oh my darling girl," stumbling towards Katniss and cupping her face in her hands. They'd both begun to cry in earnest at that point and the men intercepted, helping lead them over to the couch. Effie practically pulling Katniss into her lap, crushing her solidly to her body.

Drawing away, she notes the girl's sunken eyes underscored by dark purple bruises, the downturned mouth and then finally the reason for her shock, the large round belly. Looking to Katniss for approval she laid her hands on both sides of the girl's swollen abdomen.

"You can't... they can't possibly...," she falters. As if in agreement, the baby kicks under her touch. The small proof of life prompting her throat to tighten even more.

"That's what we're hoping for Princess," Haymitch somberly remarks.

"We've got to get you ready." Getting up from her seat Mrs. Everdeen and Prim both extend their hands to Katniss to help her up.

Effie watches the Everdeen's as they make their way up the stairs. With them out of sight, her head drops into her hands as bone shattering sobs shake her body. Just as Peeta leans down to comfort her, he feels a hand on his shoulder. Haymitch slowly shakes his head, before moving around the boy and pulling Effie into his arms. She clutches him with a desperation that Peeta has only seen Katniss share with him.

Mentor and Escort appear to be in their own world and he notes how tenderly Haymitch holds her, his voice intimate as he whispers softly to her. Peeta can't discern the words, but he assumes they are meant to soothe. So wrapped up in each other, they are oblivious to look of confusion he is casting their way.

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Katniss is reaped and he volunteers. Haymitch would be no good to them from inside the arena.

They're not even given a chance to say goodbye to their families.

"Perhaps it's for the best," he decides. He won't ever see them again and he doesn't want his last memory of them to be filled with grief.

He clings to his wife that night, crying quiet tears into her hair so she won't see. He wishes he could hold on to her forever, but clearly forever isn't the plan for him.

She will be safe he promises her. "So will you," she adds, but he doesn't respond.

He won't lie to her.

He spends a lot of time talking to their baby as the train hurtles down the track underneath them. He's convinced that it's a girl and he sings silly songs and whispers secrets to her from outside the womb. He knows it's improbable, but he's trying to sear his voice into her little brain. She may never see him, but at least she'll know somewhere, deep down in her subconscious, what her daddy sounds like.

 _"I've lived a good life_ ," he surmises. He has but two regrets:

He wished he'd spoken to Katniss sooner and that he could've held his baby just once.

* * *

 _AN: For clarification, Katniss is about 7 months pregnant by the time the Reaping happens. According to my research, the Victory Tour is in November, as the end of it coincides with Twelve's Harvest festival, or our modern day Thanksgiving. The card is read sometime in early spring perhaps late March/early April and then the Reaping itself is in summer. I'm assuming when children have been let off for holiday. By those calculations Mrs. Everdeen is correct in giving the couple an August due date._

 _As always thanks so much for your reviews and messages. They are much appreciate :)_


	13. Chapter 13

They are assaulted by a barrage of photographers the minute the doors of the train open on the Capital's platform.

Effie having prepared for this, has smartly dressed Katniss in a loose tunic and thrown a cloak around her shoulders to hide her very prominent bump. Regardless of the coverage, she prompts them to walk as rapidly as possible through the crowd before anyone can investigate too closely.

At the tribute center, Katniss's prep team are inconsolable when they discover the reality of her condition. She accepts their overly saccharine displays of empathy begrudgingly if only to stop their incessant crying. They're useless in offering any actual comfort anyway.

Haymitch stresses the absolute need for silence about the pregnancy and they solemnly agree, though only after Cinna and Portia cast threatening glares their way. The two stylists remain after Effie ushers the others out on the heels of another warning.

With the obligatory salutations out of the way, Peeta leads his wife to their room. The trip and the emotional roller coaster that they've been on has left her exhausted and he refuses to leave her side for any amount of time. He also senses that there is an important conversation brewing between the others.

The minute Haymitch hears the click of the bedroom door he turns to the group.

"So, whatcha got for me?" he begins.

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This time around Peeta notes that they operate as a much tighter unit than last time. Be it that they're more familiar with each other or that the despondency of their situation calls for it, Effie and Haymitch rarely leave them alone aside from when they're physically training and when they go to bed.

Even their stylists are more hands on.

They spend an inordinate amount of time with them helping to create pieces that help to both highlight them as a couple and camouflage the baby. Regardless, a seven month belly is still a difficult thing to hide and he's seen Seven's victor Johanna Mason staring intently at his wife one too many times.

The close proximity has not only been comforting to them, but it has illuminated an important fact to him. Their entire team is working on something major.

He's not oblivious to the secret looks and hushed conversations that occur every day and cease the minute he or Katniss enter the room. His hunch is only further warranted when he overhears several of the victor's in their living room in the odd hours of the morning.

Both he and Katniss have been plagued by daily nightmares since arriving and he'd awoken from a particularly bad one that night. Not wanting to wake her as she'd only just fallen back asleep from one of her own, he'd surreptitiously gotten out of bed. He planned on heading to the kitchen for some milk when he'd caught wind of a chorus of unfamiliar voices.

"When is this supposed to go down?" Someone asked. He wasn't completely sure but it sounded a lot like Chaff, one of Eleven's victors.

"Soon. He has a number of things at play, but all signs point to the night of the interviews as 'D- day'. If they somehow make it through, it's certain he'll come at them from another angle. Most likely through their food. He does _love_ a good poison," came the unmistakable voice of one Finnick O'Dair.

Peeta's blood runs cold at the comment. Dread pooling in his stomach as he assumes the ' _he_ ' in question is President Snow and the ' _they_ ' are him and Katniss.

"How the fuck did he find out about Katniss in the first place? If I find out it was one of those tie dyed motherfuckers on her prep team…" Haymitch's familiar rasp finally breaks through.

"No, no, we vetted those freaks and they all came back clean. Looks like someone from medical leaked the info after the girl's physical. We're working on getting a name," came an unknown speaker.

Though he's uncertain about the identity of all the visitor's in attendance, there's no mistaking the sound of a glass shattering against the hard wood floor at the latest bombshell.

"How good is the intel you're getting back?" Haymitch growls.

"We've got a couple of people strategically placed around him. They're all in different departments to ward of suspicions and they all report that he's making preparations for something big. The feedback is pretty good."

"PRETTY GOOD?!" The mentor roars.

"Haymitch..." Effie soft voice floats through the room as both an admonishment to his raised tone and a comfort to his frustration.

"Those are our fucking kids in there Eff! I want any information that has to do with them to be a hundred percent assured. I won't even wipe my ass with pretty good."

The next utterance is low and hushed and in an attempt to hear better Peeta takes a couple of steps forward. The floorboard squeaks under his foot and the discussion comes to a standstill. With bated breath he waits frozen in place. After several tense minutes, Haymitch dismisses the room. Using the cacophony of noise made by the departing guests as cover, he runs back to the bedroom.

Katniss whines in her sleep when he flings himself under the covers. His heart is pounding in his chest, the blood rushing in his ears as he contemplates everything that he's just heard. When Katniss snuggles against him, voicing her concerns about his erratic heartbeat, he blames it on a nightmare.


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: So this is more of an outtake than a_ **real** _chapter as it was actually supposed to be a part of the last upload. When I realized I forgot to add it in I was going to initially delete it, but I just didn't want it to seem like Katniss was completely clueless as to what's been going on._

* * *

Katniss is not as oblivious as everyone thinks she is.

Her powers of observation have been heightened from years of hunting and she knows that the team is hiding something from her. The furtive looks and paused conversations every time she enters the room are wearing on her already fraught nerves. Even Peeta's seemed more secretive lately and not even suggestive promises of alone time are enough to get him to confess.

After not getting anywhere with her husband, she sets her sites on Effie.

She feels almost contrite for poor guileless Effie when she charges into the living room that afternoon. With Haymitch and Peeta downstairs prepping for interviews later, she takes advantage of their absence to corner her Escort who sits at the dining room table reviewing her notes.

Deciding against subterfuge she boldly declares, "I don't appreciate being kept in the dark like some child. **_Especially_** when I'm carrying one of my own. Something is going on that you're all trying to hide from me and you're going to tell me right now what it is."

Effie takes a moment before rolling her eyes up to her. Pursing her lips, she flicks Katniss' pointed finger out of her face.

"Pointing is rude and so is shouting. I would think I've taught you better."

Getting up from her seat at the table she calmly walks over to the bar and pours herself a glass of water.

"And so is not answering me," Katniss remarks.

"My dear, there's nothing to answer. Just like last year Haymitch and I are simply trying to prepare you and Peeta for the Games as best as possible. We'd like to keep up our winning streak," she smiles.

"Bullshit! I know somethings going on. This entire place reeks of secrets."

""First off, language," Effie articulates, lifting one perfectly manicured finger in the air. "Secondly..." she pauses to turn the sound system on, something Katniss finds strange and rather discourteous as they're in the middle of a conversation. "We're not keeping any secrets from you two."

"Not two, just one, me," She gestures to herself.

"There's no way Peeta knows anything!" Effie blurts out, clearly caught off guard. "I mean, not that there's anything that he shouldn't know." She covers.

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, Katniss takes in her Escort's flushed cheeks and her lack of eye contact to mean that she's not going to divulge anything. She's clearly underestimated Effie's stubbornness, assuming that she would've been an easy target. Realizing her error, she settles on a different tactic.

"Just tell me one thing then."

Sighing Effie tilts her head ready to object, but Katniss slides her hands down to her abdomen knowing that a reminder of her condition is the quickest way to get what she wants. Effie's gaze falls on her belly and her features immediately softens.

Whatever you guys are working on, will it... will it keep Peeta safe?" Her voice cracks, the question coming out more emotional than she'd intended.

Walking towards her, Effie reaches up to cup her face, her other hand finding purchase on the baby bump where she gently rubs the curved surface.

" ** _IF_** we are working on something, it's so that _everyone_ is safe, okay?" The fixed look she gives her is full of fondness, but there's an edge to it that serves as a silent end to the conversation.


	15. Chapter 15

In the wake of his eavesdropping, Peeta had become even more paranoid about Katniss and the baby's safety than before.

With regards to the poison threat, he'd even taken to preparing all of their meals himself, his wife his only assistant. Everyone was quite amused by his behaviour, especially their prep team. They fawned over how sweet and over protective he was being, teasing Katniss about whether he was the same in the bedroom much to her chagrin.

Haymitch was the only one not amused, questioning this newfound drive for domesticity. However, it was Katniss who had unknowingly answered him. She confessed that she preferred Peeta's cooking as the rich Capital cuisine wasn't doing her any favours.

The night of the interviews he'd prepared a simple meal of stew for them; something comforting to remind them of home. They made it together in the suite's kitchen, wanting to grasp every last minute that they could together.

Even the baby seems acutely aware of the upcoming events. It vigorously kicks against its mother's womb so forcefully that they can see the outline of its little feet and elbows through Katniss's stretched skin. She in turn tries to soothe their little one by gently rubbing her belly or singing to it. All to no avail. When her intermittent wincing turned to vocalized cries of pain, he'd stepped in.

Bending down, he'd placed his hands and lips against his wife's belly.

"Hey little girl, calm down in there. You're hurting your mama and that's something I won't ever allow," he begins in his most authoritative voice. He can feel the baby's movement's pause under his hands and then the shadow of an offending limb disappears, the surface of Katniss's stomach smoothing out.

"Great it already prefers you over me and I'm the stricter one. Discipline's gonna be a nightmare," she grumbled.

Straightening up, he pecks at her pursed mouth.

"Katniss's I've seen you calm her hiccups with just the first few bars of a song. She loves you. Don't ever think differently. Poor thing's just running out of room I think."

Walking back into the kitchen, he grabs their bowls and returns placing them on the table.

"Yeah, well if it thinks it's too tight now, it's only going to get smaller in the next couple of months." Throwing her head back against the chair she groans.

"Still kicking?" He asks.

"No," she says, shaking her head, "I'm just picturing how much fatter I'm going to get is all."

"That just means there'll be more of you to love," he winks, earning him a playful shove.

Though the baby has calmed down for now, he spends the entirety of their meal with his hands on Katniss's belly. He needs to feel every little kick and thump from the tiny life that he's helped to create, each one a reminder of what he's sacrificing himself for. And while he will cherish them all, he knows that when the time comes, it is the memory of her heartbeat, heard for the very first time that morning that he will feel thrumming through his veins.

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They go over the plans one more time as they all assemble in the living room later dressed for Caesar's show.

His interview precedes Katniss' and it is his job to tell the country that they're expecting. Haymitch had wanted to wait for the perfect moment of surprise even as Peeta had confessed his acute worry that the last minute bombshell may not have an effect.

"Sure, Snow will be stunned, but there also won't be time to think of another option," he'd voiced. "He might still decide to throw her in just because there's no other plan."

"True... that's a small possibility that we have to consider," Haymitch concurred, "but we know that Capitalites are fickle and easily bored. If we'd given them time to sit on the whole baby thing, we wouldn't get the kind of initial outrage we're looking for. That immediate emotional reaction is what we need. Sponsors follow the will of the crowd and once they find out about the little one, the entire city will be up in arms. Investors won't sacrifice any money if there's even the hint that they might not get a return."

"So you're saying that sponsors only support the Games as long as the public does?" Katniss questioned.

"That's exactly it. A lot of people here have more money than the entirety of some Districts, but that doesn't mean that they're willing to part with any of it recklessly. The Games are just like any other television show, the more people that endorse it the more money it has the potential to earn for its investors." Effie explained to them.

Peeta and Katniss were completely ignorant to the specifics of sponsorship and television. Their only source of visual entertainment was the annual broadcast of the Games. They weren't even aware that other shows existed until they came to the Capital. The inner machinations of the entire process were both new and confusing to them, but they trusted that their team understood it enough to manipulate it in their favour.

"Everyone ready?" Haymitch asked.

The group shook their heads in agreement making their way over to the elevator. This could very well be the last time they were all together, but they didn't want to lament over it. Instead, brief hugs were doled out by the women and the men gave each other firm, but comforting pats on the back. They emerged into the lobby, knowing from here they would diverge. Two separate cars met them at the curb. Cinna and the others climbed into one. While Peeta, Katniss, Haymitch and Effie would be arriving together afterwards.

Peeta tucked Katniss's arm in his and held her close as they sat in the back of the vehicle.

"Are you ready for this?" He whispered to her.

But he knew her answer before she spoke.

She was desperately trying to hold back tears, channeling her fear and frustration into relentlessly wringing the handkerchief that she held in her lap.

Turning her head into his neck she breathes, "I want to believe in this plan, but I just... I don't know. Everything seems so uncertain. Especially after everything we've seen, we've barely caught a glimpse of what it means..."

He pulls back slightly at her words, knowing that he feels the very same fear that she bravely voices. He kisses her then, if for no other reason than to calm her nerves, but it quickly morphs into one of desperation. Cupping the back of her head to deepen the connection she moans into his mouth. Though they'd been making love almost every night, the pregnancy has left her insatiable and although he would never complain about it, he knows now is not the place for this.

From across the cab, someone loudly clears their throat and he regretfully pulls away from his wife's sweet mouth, only to lean in and steal not one but two final kisses from her lips before finally retreating.

"Maybe we save the romance for the crowd, hmm?" Haymitch quips.

"What we have is not for them," Peeta heatedly retorts.

"Trust me kid, I know."

* * *

 _AN: I just wanted to clarify the bit about sponsors and investors as I use them interchangeably above. I know in the book sponsors are those that send the tributes gifts, but I think it's safe to assume that the show on a whole would need them as well. It's relatively unrealistic that the government could financially support a competition of that magnitude for weeks on end without the additional support of private investors with deep pockets._

 _Now, I don't pretend to know anything about how television works other than the actual mechanics, but I assume that like with any show though, the more people that watch, the more investors are willing to pay for things like advertisement spots and thus networks are more willing to keep that show on the air. I think even without investors the Games would still be aired, but it wouldn't be nearly the success it is without them._


	16. Chapter 16

_AN: So... we are getting close to where I had stopped writing this fic. It's far from over, but updates will more than likely be more infrequent as it won't just be edits to existing chapters, but me having to actually write them. I am open to suggestions so if anyone has any ideas that they would like me to include or a direction that they would like explored that I haven't covered as yet just let me know._

* * *

Haymitch watches from the wings of the stage as Peeta prepares to make his entrance. He'd tried not to let on how nervous he was in front of the kids, but now that the hour of reckoning was upon them he could taste the uncomfortable burn of bile in his throat.

He prays that it all goes off without a hitch.

The larger plan (of which they currently find themselves a part of) predates even his own Games, but it's this last leg of the journey that is the most significant. It is the culmination of what thousands of people have tirelessly worked for from back alleys to boardrooms for years. They were all just waiting for the penultimate moment.

No one knew it would come in the form of a handful of berries.

His own role grew fastidiously over time, especially in the last decade. He'd refused participation in the beginning after his family had been murdered. Afraid of further backlash, he soon realized he had nothing left to lose. If he died for the cause at least his life would have stood for something.

He wants what all the rebels want, a Panem divorced from the totalitarian dictatorship that is Snow's reign. A country where people are free to do what they want, live where they want and most importantly, love who they want.

It's this last doctrine that Haymitch desires the most.

After the death of his girl he thought he'd lost the ability to love, but for years now, one woman has kept his heart. Though they can never disclose it, he garners an immense amount of strength knowing that his ring dangles from a chain around her neck every day. The very nature of the secret helping to fuel his rebellious defiance. He worships the spots where it rests against her skin every time they are intimate. It is a constant reminder of what _he_ is fighting for

He glances across the stage where Effie holds Katniss' hand. The other wrapped around the girl's shoulders as she gives her some last minute pointers he assumes. She looks up, catching his eyes and gives him a shaky smile.

He's never met anyone that's more of a team player than Effie Trinket.

Even when they hated each other they always operated as a well-oiled machine. Dedicated, efficient and loyal to a fault, she's been by his side for so long that it's hard to remember a time when she wasn't. She's made him a better person and in turn he made her quite the little rebel.

Returning her smile, he sees her steel her gaze and she gives him one sharp nod.

The show is about to begin.

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If Peeta thought the reaction to their secret nuptials was bad, the cries of outrage that flooded the theater after the news about the baby was dropped was unbearable. Even the great Caesar Flickerman is at a loss for words, gaping at him in bafflement as he attempts to figure out his next move.

The crowd is up in arms, screaming indignities at the stage, at the Games and even at the President himself.

"Calm down everyone, calm down," Caesar pleads.

He looks off to the side at the production crew for help, but they have none to offer. Their attentions being diverted to restraining the more physical members of the audience.

"But Peeta, surely this cannot be," Caesar says.

Peeta's answer comes when he extends his hands to an unseen presence off stage; from the shadows Katniss emerges. He pulls her to him gently, placing a kiss against her temple.

"Show them," he urges.

She looks at him timidly before cupping both hands under her belly, drawing the loose fabric of her gown taut over the evidence of their child.

"Oh my, you must let President Snow know. There's no way Katniss can participate in the Games in her condition!" The host declares.

"Caesar…. he already knows," Peeta replies sadly.

"Snow's a baby killer," screams one woman, just before the guards knock her out.

At the sight, the cacophony of noise that inhabits the room swells to unbearable proportions. People begin to climb over seats to get to the stage while others fight with the theater guards. Adding to the crowd's verbal indignation's and the pounding of fist hitting flesh are the sounds of hundreds of cell phones ringing. The news is spreading like wildfire.

It's pure chaos in the theater.

And it's exactly what they wanted.

From off sight a shoe is thrown directly at Caesar and they watch as if in slow motion as it hits the side of his face. The sudden blow causing him to fall to the floor, blood spilling from the wound.

Peeta pulls Katniss close to his body for safety. Using the proximity to whisper in her ear, he begs her forgiveness at the very public exposure of their private life. Her tears soak through his jacket in riposte. Behind her shoulder he glimpses the other victors who stand, hands joined in solidarity on the upper deck of the stage.

The thunderous stomp of numerous pairs of feet startles him and he lifts his face from his wife's neck to see Peacekeepers flooding the room. Haymitch runs forward and quickly drags them off stage.

0000000000000000000000000000

If pressed, Peeta could not explain how they arrived back at the Tribute Center. It's all a jumbled blur of images in his brain. All he knows is that Chaff jamming his stump into the closing elevator doors interrupts their ascent to their floor.

He exchanges agitated whispers with Haymitch who pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"You sure?" He asks at whatever the news is.

"Absolutely. We have all the phone lines tapped. Betee intercepted the call himself the minute it came in. We only have a couple of hours at best."

"How was he planning on explaining their absence from the arena tomorrow?"

"Hell if I know," Chaff responds. "People are revolting in the streets. He's not only losing their support, but I think he's losing his mind as well."

Haymitch turns to address them.

"When the doors open next, you two will exit to your left and walk down the hall, just like you would if you were on your floor. This card-" he wiggles his fingers at Chaff who hands them a keycard, "will open the door. Do not hesitate. Someone will be there waiting for you."

Nodding gravely, Peeta slips the card into his jacket pocket and takes his wife's hand. The elevator doors open behind them and before they can register what floor they're on, Haymitch is pushing them out and the doors are closing in front of them. They make their way to the assigned door, trying to maintain an even and natural gait, aware that cameras are watching. It's dark inside the room and he keeps Katniss firmly to him as he closes the door and gropes for the light. Before he can get to it a lamp is turned on, its muted glow casting strange shadows across the room. Her hand still gripping the lamp's chain, Johanna Mason looks up at them.

"Took you two long enough. Come on we have work to do."


	17. Chapter 17

_Yes, I know it's been quite some time that I've updated this story. I do apologize and I just want to let you all know that I haven't given up on in. More like real life has prevented me from returning to this world. I do hope you all enjoy this latest chapter though!_

* * *

Five floors above, Haymitch lays in wait.

He trusts Johanna to get Peeta and Katniss ready. Betee has messed with the surveillance cameras and made it appear as if his victors have arrived at their specific suite and are getting ready for bed. He has ingeniously cut in footage from the past several days to make it seem as if it's happening in real time. In truth, Haymitch alone occupies the penthouse for now. He sits in the dark anticipating the arrival of the assassin they know Snow has sent.

The man is stealthy, he'll give him that. Haymitch barely hears when the door is opened.

The killer is also smart enough to avoid any parts of the floor that might squeak, something he knows Peeta regrets not doing several nights before. From his place in the closet he spies the intruder's shadow across the carpeted floor of the bedroom. As quiet as the person is he cannot disguise the sound of the gun shots that he shoots into the 'figures' on the bed regardless of the silencer. With the man's back still turned to the closet, Haymitch silently opens the door and before the man can grasp his presence, he pulls a garrote across his throat.

The assassin's legs automatically buckle under him and he drops the gun. Haymitch uses the shift in weight to drag the man to the living room. Waiting for him is Chaff who'd slipped in right behind the assassin as soon as he'd spied him in the hall. Together they secure him to a chair before sending out an alert. Less than 30 seconds later Seeder and Finnick appear. As he turns the lights on Seeder yanks the ski mask off the man's face.

He glares in retribution at the assembled victors.

"We know Snow sent you," Haymitch snarls at the man. "But we have some questions that we need to ask and seeing as you're in no position to argue, I's suggest you start answering them."

Everyone in attendance is well aware of why the assassin was sent, but they want him to say it out loud so that Betee's bugs will pick it up. They plan on broadcasting to the nation just how sinister their precious Snow really is.

When silence continues to fill the room, he takes up his place behind the chair, pulling the garrote just a little tighter. The man begins to struggle against his bonds, trying to twist his body to alleviate the pressure of the string.

"I'll stop if you tell us." Haymitch adds.

But, when he's still met with no answer, he pulls it even tighter. The man gasping for air at the compression that crushes his windpipe.

Seeder frowns for a minute and then walks forward grabbing the man's chin, "Shit," she says, dropping it and looking at the men.

"What?" Chaff asks, as he moves closer. He shoves the man's head back and grunt's in disgust. "Great, fucker's an avox."

"He's useless then, we'll just have to kill him," Finnick suggests.

At the threat, the man begins to whimper loudly, gesturing with his head frantically at his lap.

"Shut up!" Haymitch barks, pulling the garrote even tighter; beads of blood starting to appear at the ligature mark.

"Wait, I think he's trying to tell us something?" Seeder replies.

She follows the assassin's line of vision and points to his jacket pocket as the source. "There, I think there's something in there he wants us to see."

Finnick reaches in and extracts a cell phone. They all reach a mutual understanding when they note the device.

"Snow is going to video call you to confirm the kills isn't he?" Chaff asks. "You didn't happen to record any of your transactions did you?" He adds, hopeful. The man nods his head vigorously in agreement.

"Betee's recording everything in the suite, right?" Finnick queries.

Haymitch nods in the affirmative.

"That's great, that'll serve as the proof we need when Snow de-" He's cut off by the ringtone of the phone in his hand.

Haymitch unwinds the garrote from around the man's neck and zips up his jacket to hide the blooming scar.

"Now, I'm going to untie you and you're going to answer the phone and let him know that the job's done. Got it?"

The man nods jerkily in understanding.

"Good because if you don't, no one in this room will hesitate to kill you. And with your own gun, just so that we can enjoy the irony."

They all move back, watching as the shooter answers the phone.

Snow's lecherous voice fills the room. "I better have two dead victors Zeke. I'll be very disappointed if I don't."

The shooter smiles a slow, vicious smile in affirmation.

"Good job my boy!" Now, let me see the bodies."

Though he doesn't move, the man casts a frantic gaze up at the victors. It's only for a split second, but it's enough to arouse Snow's suspicion.

"Who are you looking at?" He challenges through the phone and then in a dangerously low rasp he adds, "Your services are no longer required."

The line falls dead.

"Shit, shit, shit," Haymitch yells frantically. "We gotta move. NOW!"

He grabs a duffel that's been stashed under the couch quickly skimming through the contents. He can hear Seeder on the phone telling Johanna to meet them on the roof and Finnick leaves to assist her.

As he's zipping up the bag he catches a flailing of limbs out of his periphery. Chaff is arguing with the Zeke character.

"What does he want?" Haymitch shouts.

Zeke gestures to the phone and then pantomimes a finger sliding across his throat.

"Snow's gonna kill him. He wants us to take him with us," Chaff translates.

"Fuck no!" Haymitch huffs in disbelief. "You took the devil on as your lover and now you gotta deal with the burn."

To prove his point he shoves the man back on the chair and rebinds him.

As he ties his hands he leans down and hisses in his ear, "I might have tried to save you if you hadn't have pulled the trigger; and if for just one second you had thought about the kids whose lives you were about to end. But you didn't even hesitate. Those could have been my kids that you killed and as a father I can't let you live."

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He and Chaff make it to the roof just behind everyone else. There's a low flying hovercraft awaiting their departure and he spots Peeta already helping Katniss up the rope ladder to the ships cabin. He does a quick count of heads.

"Where's Effie?" He asks.

When his question goes ignored, he repeats it again, shouting into the chaos filled air.

"How should I know?" Johanna retorts.

Terror begins to take hold of him as he runs from person to person asking if they've seen her. There isn't that many people up there though, he would have spotted her immediately if she was.

"Haymitch, let's go!" Chaff demands.

"I can't… I can't leave her," he nearly sobs out when Seeder questions his persistence. "You have to go on without me, I need to find her," he yells to Blight.

The man's eyebrows lift in confusion. "Why do you care? She's just a fucking escort!" He shouts.

"SHE'S NOT JUST A FUCKING ESCORT, SHE'S MY WIFE!" He screams, gripping the lapels of the other man's shirt and shaking him.

Johanna's mouth falls open in shock. "You're what-?!" She sputters.

"Uhh, guys, pilot says we have to leave now," Seeder cuts in.

"Go," he gestures, pointing at the craft.

"Come on Haymitch. We can set up a meet point for her later. Come with us now," Chaff calls to him.

"No, I need to find her. I can't go without her. We'll figure out a way to get to Thirteen later."

"But there might not be a chance for later." Chaff retorts.

"Well then… at least will be together."

Seeder appears at his side, casting a look of understanding at him. She presses a quick kiss to his cheek.

"Be safe," she whispers, grabbing Chaff's arm and pulling him towards their escape.

Haymitch gives a brief wave at the departing ship as it lifts off of the roof, its blades so loud he can barely hear Chaff when he shouts down, "What are you waiting for? Go find her you fool!"

"Take care of my victors," he hollers back.

And with that, he turns and sprints down the stairs of the training center.


	18. Chapter 18

_**AN** : I just wanted to thank the couple of new followers that this story has attracted lately. I really appreciate the attention that this little story has managed to garner :)_

* * *

Katniss has one word for Thirteen.

Sterile.

As modern and austere as the Capital is, it's still warmer than the cold steel of the drab grey district.

Even the residents are dreary.

Their skin sallow and pale from years of never seeing the sun. The children, the few that she sees, lack the glow of youth, instead wane and sullen, the very embodiment of the underground district.

She asks Plutarch how long he thinks they'll be down here and he shrugs his shoulders noncommittally.

She knows that she should be grateful that Thirteen has been gracious enough to host Twelve's refugees, but she doesn't want to raise her child in a place where they will never feel the warmth of sunlight on their skin or feel the tickle of grass beneath their bare feet.

Peeta agrees.

"I want to go home too, but we need to think about what's best for us as well as the baby right now. We can't go back. We'll be sitting ducks for Snow there. Here- where we at least know it's safe, is where we'll remain for now. Hopefully, one day we can return to Twelve."

She knows all this to be true, but it doesn't make it any easier for her to accept. Rather, nothing in the last 24 hours since they touched down in the forgotten district has been easy to accept.

She could handle all this, she tells herself, if someone would just give her some answers. Instead both of them are being kept in the dark, their questions diverted or just blatantly ignored altogether.

No one will even tell them where Haymitch is.

She can't imagine that he would have left them alone, _especially_ now, unless something tragic had happened. Fear for his safety threatens to push her already tenuous emotions over the edge.

The one good thing that has come from the entire situation that gives her any peace of mind is that her family is safe.

She'd been greeted by them only minutes after they'd landed.

Chaos had surrounded them as they'd descended from the ship. Medical and military personnel converging on them in a suffocating circle. She'd clung to Peeta as someone in a nurse's uniform grabbed at her trying to get her into a wheelchair.

"I'm fine," she shouts, but her cries go ignored.

Thankfully Peeta had kept a hold of her hand and had run alongside the chair as she was pushed down a corridor. She'd been wheeled into a large medical ward where several people bustled around in nervous energy.

"Katniss!"

She'd turned her head in time to see her mother and Prim running towards them. They'd engulfed her in hugs, pulling Peeta into their arms as well.

Her mother had thanked the nurse and took the handles of the chair, moving them all towards a private room.

"What are you guys doing here?" Peeta asked.

"Before you guys left Haymitch told us to pack our necessities so that we could be ready to leave on short notice. He also told us to tell as many people as possible too," her mother supplied. "I'm so grateful that we listened."

"Did something happen to Twelve?"

Her mother and Prim had shared a grim look between the two before deciding on telling them about the events that brought them to Thirteen.

"They came in the night, not long after you'd left. You'd only been gone two-three days maybe. We had just enough time to grab our belongings and run before the hovercraft's came. They blew up the Hob and the train station, part of town as well. That's… all we know for now." Prim replied shaking her head gravely.

Both she and Peeta paled visibly. "My family?" He'd hedged.

Mrs. Everdeen took one of his hands in hers. "I'm not sure love, but I can't account for everyone that made it here." He nodded his head in understanding.

Pointing to the bed next to her she'd turned to Katniss.

"Honey, I want to get a look at the baby and make sure everything's okay. They have much better equipment than we do back home and with all the stress you've been under lately..."

Katniss quickly acquiesced.

She'd been worried about the baby these past few days as it hadn't been as active as it normally was. She'd been too paranoid to tell Peeta, especially after the slight scare that she'd had while still in the Capital.

Just hours before they'd left, a sharp pain had shot straight through her abdomen; temporary paralyzing her in fear. When the cramping sensation continued, she'd left the training area as quickly and as quietly as possible, catching Peeta's eye as she made for the door.

She was so grateful that Effie was in their suite that afternoon as their escort had ended up secreting in her _own_ doctor for an impromptu exam. He'd diagnosed Katniss with something called Braxton Hicks and assured them that it was perfectly normal. Her body was just getting ready for the impending birth. He hadn't been able to bring much with him, but they had been able to hear their baby's heartbeat through his stethoscope for the first time that day.

Now, with her mother's help they'd be able to _see_ their baby for the first time.

With Peeta's assistance she'd laid down on the bed and her mother had pushed her shirt up to just under her breasts. The gel she placed on her skin was cold and caused goosebumps to freckle Katniss' skin.

Mrs. Everdeen had then gently pressed a wand into her stomach and moved it around, staring at the screen in front of her as the image became clear.

"Ahh, there she is," she'd smiled reverently.

"Is it really a girl?" Katniss wondered out loud. "Everyone's been saying that for so long that if it's a boy I swear he's going to resent you all."

Laughing her mother dipped the instrument to the side. "Give me one… sec and we should be able to tell…"

She turned her head and pressed several buttons on the small keyboard of the machine.

"Ok, yes, there we go," she'd pointed to the screen. "We have three little lines. Congrats parents. You're having a little girl," she beamed.

"A little girl, Katniss. A little you." Peeta had murmured contentedly, bending to press a kiss upon her lips.

She grinned at her husband's enthusiasm. In moments like this she's reminded of just how young they really are.

"Is she okay though Mom?" Mrs. Everdeen had gone quiet and the silence had started to make her worry.

"Oh yes, dear. Ten fingers, ten toes, everything looks good," she said distractedly as she tilted her head in question at the baby's image.

"Mom, what is it? Please tell us." She'd gripped Peeta's hand expecting the worse.

Mrs. Everdeen turned from the screen. Noting the couples distressed features, she'd quickly smiled to allay their fears.

"Don't worry. She's perfect you two, big- ** _ger_** than I thought she'd be,'' she quirks. "Either she's going to be a big baby or Katniss you're most likely farther along than I originally thought," she'd laughed.

"By how much?" Peeta queried.

"From her size? I'd say she's most likely due 1-2 weeks earlier than I originally estimated."

"The tour," she and Peeta had said in awed unison as they quickly did the math. They'd both stared at each other before she'd pulled him down for a kiss. They were so caught up in each other that they missed her mother and Prim sneaking out the room.


	19. Chapter 19

A day and a half.

It's all the reprieve they'd been given before they were summoned by the President of Thirteen.

"Her name is Alma Coin," her mother says. Her voiced laced with an underlying caution.

She warns them to be on their best behaviour as if they haven't spent the better part of two years already doing so.

"Do you not like her?" Katniss questions.

"I'm not sure 'like' is the right word. She's very… intimidating. But, she willing took us in, sharing her resources with us and for that we at least owe her our respect."

Now the couple walk hand in hand down the winding corridors escorted by a man introduced to them as Commander Boggs. He is a giant of a man, stern and succinct and he immediately makes Katniss wary.

Two elevator rides later and they emerge into the deep bowels of the district. The air is at once cold and stale and Katniss burrows deeper into Peeta's side. Each expulsion of breath foggy in the chilled environment. They are so far down that Katniss briefly wonders just how deep Thirteen extends into the Earth.

"This is Command," Boggs declares, pulling up abruptly in front of a set of double doors.

He keys in a passcode into a screen alongside the doors and they open up to a large room. He ushers them in and they quickly realize that they are late to this gathering as every seat but two are occupied.

Both Peeta and herself are surprised when they spot Gale sitting next to a white haired woman at the head of the table.

He glances up at them, nodding briefly in recognition.

Katniss casts a glance in his direction in return.

Their relationship hasn't been the same since she returned from the Games and it'd been made even worse by his dislike of her and Peeta's relationship. It was only after the Quell announcement that he'd come to see her. Having tucked his jealousy and his callous observations between his legs, he'd apologized for his behaviour, congratulated her on the wedding and the baby and then had hung his head in sorrow at what lay ahead for the couple.

"Mr. Mellark, Ms. Everdeen, so nice to finally meet you. My name is Alma Coin. Welcome to District Thirteen."

They both turn to look at the speaker who heads the table.

She now stands, hand outstretched in greeting. A smile that doesn't quite meet her frosty coloured eyes latches on to Katniss and her gaze narrows almost imperceptibly as it glances down her body taking in her and Peeta's clasped hands and then her evident pregnancy.

The perusal makes Katniss feel awkwardly vulnerable and uncomfortable. Shared in that brief gaze is a lifetime of judgement from a woman she's known for all of two minutes.

They both respond to her politely, albeit briefly and take turns shaking the cold, dry hands of Thirteen's leader.

"Please sit," she gestures. "I'm sure the walk down here must have tired you out Ms. Everdeen."

"It's Mellark actually, Ms. President."

"Is it _really_?" Coin asks, one eyebrow raised in speculation. "Are we to assume that you will continue the farce of being married to one another then?"

"It's not a farce!" Katniss reproaches." Peeta squeezes her hand in warning.

"Peeta and I _are_ legally married. He's my husband and I'm his wife and I've chosen to take his last name. The same one our daughter will have," she finishes, cupping her hand under her burgeoning belly.

Her answer though civil, has a bite to it that cannot be ignored.

"Fine then, _Mrs_. Mellark. If that is what you wish. I should let you know however, that many people here are of the understanding that your relationship is a work of fiction perpetrated by the Capital. It may take time for them to believe differently."

"We don't care what other people think. Our relationship, our marriage is ours and ours alone. Let them judge all they want. It only matters what we think and know to be true," Peeta declares.

Looking down into Katniss' eyes he brushes his lips gently across his wife's temple.

Coin purses her lips in reaction to Peeta's statement and something about the small gesture, whether it's the tilt of her head or the gleam in her eye, triggers a familiarity to Katniss, though she can't quite place it. She quickly moves it from her mind as Coin has begun to explain the reason that they are all assembled.

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"Mockingjay, Mockingjay, Mockingjay, why does that sou—Haymitch!" Peeta gasps.

"What?" Katniss asks

"That, that term. Haymitch referred to you as the Mockingjay."

"When was this?"

"Before we left home. When you'd been put on bed rest. I'd begged him to make sure that you survived the Games and he'd said that once the public saw that they're 'little Mockingjay' was pregnant they'd make sure that you never entered another arena."

She leaned her head onto his shoulder and he hugged her closer to him. They currently sat together on the small couch in their room contemplating the events of the meeting.

"You think he knew then? That they'd want me to be the face of the rebellion? I want to be mad at him, but I don't even know where he is."

Peeta rubbed his hand along her arm soothingly. "I think he must have. And I trust him. I'm not sure if I trust many of the other people in that room though."

"I definitely don't. I can't believe after everything that we've been through, they still want to treat us like pawns. It feels like we escaped one set of Games only to fall into another one altogether."

"At least we got them to agree to the propos being filmed here as opposed to 'in the field'," he added, pantomiming air quotes around the term.

"Yeah, barely. Did you see the look on Coin's face when you said that? She looked ready to stab you in the eye with her pen. I don't like any one of her council, but there is something especially unnerving about her that I can't shake."

"Well she had to be out of her mind to think that I'd allow my pregnant wife into war zone ravaged areas just for a camera appearance. So clearly there's something off about her," he offered pressing a kiss into her neck.

She cupped his head, keeping it in place, enjoying the warmth of his lips on her cool skin.

"It's more than that though. She reminds me of someone. I don't know who, but I do know that I hate them both." Katniss confessed.

"You don't like anyone, my love. I'm lucky that you like me." Peeta joked, tickling her side.

She pulled back, scowling at him before moving to straddle his lap.

Peeta smiled at the contact, inclining his neck as she moved her lips to his ear.

"Yes, you are. And I was going to show you just how lucky, until you decided to be a smart ass," she whispered, wiggling in his lap for emphasis.

He moaned in retaliation, but just as he made to grab her hips, she got off of him, making her way down the hall.

Momentarily stunned from the loss of connection, he blinked rapidly in surprise.

"Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll never be a smart ass ever again!" he called out.

Poking her head out of the bathroom, she smiled. "Oh, yeah?"

He shook his head emphatically.

"Fine. Lock the door and take off your pants," she replied, stepping back into the bathroom.


	20. Chapter 20

Their arrival in the dining hall the next morning is met with a combination of excitement and wariness.

Those from Twelve are happy to see the two victors safe and sound, while those from Thirteen regard them with an air of distrust that warrants Coin's previous reveal.

After their arrival, they'd been granted a very much appreciated respite of privacy and had taken to having their meals in their room. Today was the first time anyone outside of the rescue team and her family had seen them.

Katniss, always acutely guarded when in the spotlight, stares down at the floor as she grips Peeta hand tightly in hers they make their way in.

The sound of footsteps closing in on the pair followed by someone whispering, "Hey lover boy," has Katniss' head snapping up at attention.

"Hi Johanna," Peeta laughs, though his cheeks sport a telltale blush from her nickname.

"If looks could kill!" She cracks up, gesturing at Katniss whose eyes narrow in disapproval. She can't help flashing to a certain scandalous elevator ride that had left her shocked and feeling a little insecure, while Peeta hadn't even batted an eye.

"Looks like the wife's a little jealous there Twelve. All that hostility must be tiring to be around. Let me know if you ever want to get away from her," she mocks. "If the sounds coming from your room are any indication, I know I'll be in for a good time," she adds wiggling her eyebrows.

"Hey, hey, hey," Peeta warns pulling Katniss closer to him; her body having tightened in anticipation of inflicting damage on Seven's victor no doubt.

Turning to Johanna, he regards her coolly, "Johanna, I don't appreciate you speaking to me like that. Nor referencing what my wife and I do behind closed doors. That's none of your business."

"Jeez, I'm just kidding you two. So serious all the time," she rolled her eyes exasperatingly. "Lighten up. Besides, I bat for the other team anyway."She laughed, noting their startled expressions.

"Come on, you'll be sitting with us over there," she points, where they can see several others victors are currently seated.

Breakfast is a quiet affair, made even more so when the lack of news about Haymitch is shared.

Just as they're finishing their meals, Prim comes running into the hall, skidding to a stop in front of the couple.

"Prim? Is everything alright?" Katniss asks alarmed.

"There's something you'll want to see," she nods excitedly, pulling the pair to their feet.

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Though Prim's only been there for a couple of days more than they have, she's somehow memorized the labyrinth style halls as well as any citizen of Thirteen would. She now drags them down them as fast as her legs will allow, bursting into the emergency part of the medical ward with the breathless pair close behind her.

"Oh good, Prim found you!" Mrs. Everdeen smiles, immediately coming over to them. "We're still getting some stragglers in. They must have been far behind everyone else. Their injuries are extensive… but their alive!"

"Who's alive?" Katniss asks as her and Peeta share confused looks.

Her mother quickly leads them both to the end of the ward where a bay of beds lay cordoned off from everyone else. She pulls the privacy curtain away from the first bed.

"Dad!" Peeta cries, nearly throwing himself at the immobile figure on the bed. "Dad, Dad," he repeats hugging the man. When his enthusiasm continues to be met with no reaction, he swings his panicked gaze at Mrs. Everdeen.

"Why isn't he waking up?" He questions.

"He's suffering from extreme exhaustion and dehydration. They walked all the way here having missed the rescue planes. He also has some serious burns that are infected. He's sedated for now and he's going to be in here for a while, but he will get better," she promises.

Peeta nods in understanding, taking his father's hand in his and rubbing it gently.

Katniss moves to his side and he slips his other hand around her waist hugging her to him. She drops a kiss on his head, running her hand along the back of his neck and into his hair soothingly.

"You said they?" He asks, peering around his wife's belly at his mother in law.

"Oh, yes," she claps. "You're-"

"Peeta!"

"Bannock?! BANNOCK!" He screams jumping from the bed and racing to his brother who hobbles towards him, a bandage wrapped around his head and a crutch under his arm for support.

The brothers embrace tightly. The grief of the past several days and the elation of finding each other encompassed in the moment. When they pull away they simply stare at each other in thanks.

"Mom? Farro?" Peeta queries hopefully.

Bannock shakes his head, his lips pressed together in grief.

"They were in the bakery when the bombs hit. Dad ran in to try and save them, but there was nothing left of the bakery by then. He… he collapsed from the smoke and I pulled him out," Bannock chokes, tears filing his eyes.

Peeta pulls him into another hug; though this time it's in mutual pain at the loss of their remaining family.

Mrs. Everdeen walks over, leading them into nearby chairs to sit, but not before Bannock spots Katniss. He lifts her off her feet with his one good arm, hugging her fiercely to him.

"Hey Sis," he says, finally placing her back on the ground. "You're okay? And the baby?" She nods with a slight grin, hugging him back in returned relief.

"I'm so sorry about…" she begins and he squeezes her shoulder in agreement.

"I know," he mourns. "I'm just so glad you're all okay," he adds.

Mrs. Everdeen ushers her girls over to her so that the brothers can have some privacy.

Katniss gives Peeta's hand a gentle squeeze as a farewell knowing that there are things the siblings need to discuss.

"How did you guys get out?" Peeta asks after the Everdeen's leave.

"Dad was at the market. He hadn't been gone that long before the bombs fell."

"And you?"

"I uh… I was with Orla…" He admits, cheeks blooming with embarrassment.

"Ahh," Peeta nods in understanding. "So, you owe her your life then. Did she make it here too?"

The corners of his brother's mouth upturn slightly, "Yeah, she came with us."

"Are you finally going to stop stringing her along then?"

"I wasn't stringing her along!" Bannock objects.

Peeta quirked his eyebrow in demand and looked at his brother.

"Fine. I mean I wasn't trying to at least. It's just Mom would never allow—"

"I know. It took her a while with Katniss too…" Peeta agrees.

"I uh, I asked her to marry me yesterday," he smiles, and this time his whole face lights up.

"Congratulations!" Peeta cheers, clapping his brother gently on his shoulder mindful of his injuries. "Orla's a lovely girl."

"Yes, yes she is." Bannock replies, eyes glazed in bliss.

The brother's spend the rest of the evening catching up. They know that their grief will find them soon enough, but for now they relish in Bannock's announcement. The news is one shining bright spot in the chaos that has become their life.


	21. Chapter 21

_**AN:** I know its been a while, but I promise that I have not given up on this story! Rather real life and a spot of writer's block have been holding me back. I do have large bits of this story written. It is the transitions in between them that I am having the most problems actually formulating into real chapters. The following chapter is one of those pieces. I know it's short, especially with the wait, but I promise the next update will be soon and it will be longer! _

* * *

In the days following his family's return, Peeta finds himself jockeying between their hospital rooms, his wife, training and his new post in command monitoring the airwaves with Betee; a job he finds rather frustrating as he often struggles to understand his place there.

It is here he finds himself, nearly 3 weeks to the date of their initial landing, when a call comes in about an unknown ship in Thirteen's airspace.

"Soldier Mellark," Bogg calls, appearing in the doorway, "you're wanted at the landing docks. The ship appears friendly, but Coin wants us to greet it armed."

Peeta quickly sprints after him, trying to keep up with the taller man's longer stride, nearly colliding with Katniss in the corridor.

"Where are you going?" She asks, gripping his shoulders to steady them both.

"Hovercraft… landing… unknown," he gasps out.

When he makes to continue on down the corridor, he finds her following along, walking or rather waddling as quickly as she can behind him.

"Katniss, stay." He warns.

"I'm not a dog to command Peeta," she sneers.

"Kat—I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. It's just we don't know who's on board. It's not safe."

His apology appears to mollify her albeit briefly because the moment he turns the corner she trails after him.

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The sound of the rotors on the landing hovercraft echo around the cavernous landing dock, the noise overwhelming her ears. The force of the blades alone creating a maelstrom and anything not nailed down whips around in the air like an odd ballet with debris as the dancers.

Though her curiosity had won out, Katniss is still mindful that the craft's inhabitants may not be friendly and so she sticks to the doorway for safety.

The soldiers must assume the ship to be friendly because after a quick inspection they move in fast, lowering their weapons.

She spots Peeta waving enthusiastically to whomever is behind the slowly descending door.

She only needs to see a flash of cotton pink curls to know who it is immediately.

Effie!" She shouts, running over as quickly as she can.

"Katniss I told you to stay away." Her husband protests.

She sends a wry expression his way and he throws up his hands in resignation.

"Oh my darlings!" Effie cries, quickly running down the last few feet of the landing strip to embrace them both.

"Look at you!" She laughs, pulling away to run her hands over Katniss burgeoning belly.

Katniss smiles back, "Yeah, she'll be here sooner than we thought."

Her face grows more serious as she looks up at her escort, "I'm so glad you're here. We were so worried. Is Hay—"

But her question is cut off as a small movement from the ship attracts her attention and she looks up in time to see a young boy emerge. No older than 5 or 6, he makes a beeline for Effie, running to her but hesitating when he spots Peeta and Katniss.

He hides his face in Effie's side timidly.

"And who might you be?" Katniss asks gently.

Effie smiles warmly down at the boy and runs her hand through his mop of curls.

"Go ahead honey, tell her your name."

His response however is muffled by the dress's fabric.

"It's alright, Katniss won't bite. At least not that hard." Effie jokes.

Peeta chuckles and Katniss glares at him, but it lacks any real animosity.

The child hides further behind Effie, but his voice is clearer when he replies, "But, Mama she's a stranger."

"Mama?!" Both her and Peeta's jaws drop in cartoonish mockery.

Effie has the decency to look bashful. "Yes, this is my son- Elgin."

"Huh? Wh-?" Katniss' broken syllabic response are mirrored in Peeta's expression.

Clearing his head, he asks in rapid succession, "Where's he been? How old is he and how come we've never met him?"

As Effie attempts to answer, he raises his hand pausing her reply. "Wait, who's his father?!"

"That'd be me boy."

Slowly the body of their Mentor emerges from the ship's recesses. He walks towards them, the child now grinning as Haymitch scoops him up into his arms.

"He's mine," Haymitch clarifies, kissing his son's cheek. "This one too," he adds, protectively splaying his palm against Effie's abdomen. She blushes prettily under his intense gaze. "You two weren't the only ones who had something to fight for."

"But how?" Peeta asks.

"Didn't think I needed to tell you that boy, seeing as you're having one of your own," Haymitch jests.

"No, I mean I knew you and Effie were _close_ ," he offers, not wanting to admit his observations of their relationship in front of strangers. "But, you have a child? How long-?" He tapers off gesturing between mentor and escort.

"Listen kid we're beat and we still got a war to win. When this is all done, I promise I'll answer all of your questions."

Peeta nods reflexively though his eyebrows still knit in confusion. He takes Katniss' hand, who still numb from the news, needs a tug to get her going.

Effie amused at their reactions, grins at them, her smile brightening as Haymitch wraps his free arm around her waist leading the team from the hangar.


	22. Chapter 22

_**AN:** I know, I know, I promised to update soon after the last chapter, but the time went by so fast! So I give you following chapter. It's actually part of a much longer piece, but I decided to separate it out because 1: It was getting too long 2: The latter part needs to be fleshed out more and 3: I wanted to post something in the meantime. _

_This update is for DramionEverlarklover26 who left me the sweetest review begging me to hurry up and post another chapter._

* * *

Peeta has nothing personal against Gale.

At least that's what he tells himself.

Yes, maybe he'd been a little jealous years ago when he would watch wistfully as Gale accompanied Katniss everywhere. But, those days are long gone and now his is the only companionship that she willingly seeks.

Their lives after the Games were a whirlwind of activity, what with the tour and then the Reaping and now the baby and Gale hadn't been a factor in their lives for quite some time. He'd wanted to ask Katniss what had happened between her and her former confidante, but he didn't want to pry and he figured she would tell him in due time.

Now however, as he eats supper alone yet again, Katniss' once best friend consumes his thoughts.

For reasons unbeknownst to him, Coin insists on usurping most of Katniss' waking hours. There's meetings in command, artillery displays in the armory and then there's the filming's down in the studio all the while with Gale Hawthorn glued to her side.

He wasn't going to bother her with his trivialness especially when she's always so tired when she returns to their room in the evenings. He refuses to spare the few hours that they have together every day talking about someone that Katniss has only just started speaking to again.

He just can't help the stir of old feelings though and his resentment has been steadily growing as his role in the propos has been diminishing. Without it being expressed, he has found himself time and time again on the outskirts watching his wife and her old best friend film Thirteen's stratagems. At first he'd dismissed it as his own petty insecurity, but it's become abundantly clear that his presence is not wanted.

A loud knock at the door interrupts his thoughts.

Before he can get to the door, it swings open with a loud thud, the sound reverberating against the heavy metal walls. He jumps back in shock at the intruder.

"Boy, what the heck are you doin'? Get to the studio, your girl's flopping worse than a fish with no water down there," Haymitch commands.

"I, uh, I'm eating," he replies lamely.

"And?" Haymitch adds.

"They don't want me there."

"Says who?"

"Well no one- specifically, but they've been forcing me out of the propos for the last week or so. Plutarch says it's Katniss they need anyway."

"That's bullshit, girl's been asking for you for the last hour. Plutarch's an asshat. Let's go," he orders.

Not wanting to argue, he follows his mentor down to the studio. When Katniss spots him she runs straight into his arms.

"Where were you?" She breathes into his neck.

He rubs her back soothingly noting the small tremors that shake her; signs that she's holding imminent tears at bay.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter?"

"I miss you and I'm tired and this sucks and your daughter is using my bladder as a squeeze toy!" She sobs loudly into his chest.

He looks over at Haymitch for assistance, but he simply mouths, "I told you so," and walks off.

Their mentor's voice soon fills the room. "Ladies and gentleman, I think our Mockingjay's had enough for one night, don't you agree?"

Everyone mutually acquiesces and Peeta escorts her back to their room, stopping first to get her some supper which she inhales before promptly passing out on their couch.

He gently carries her to their bed and while he'd like nothing more than to cuddle up beside her, worries abound his fragile mind and he finds himself wandering the halls for a respite. Without realizing it, he finds himself plopping down next to Haymitch in an almost deserted cafeteria.

"So," Haymitch begins, wiping his mouth before turning to him. "You wanna tell me what's going on with you?"

Peeta sighs, "I'm not really sure, honestly. I just have this feeling…"

"Clearly it's something if it's keeping you up at night. I spoke to Plutarch about the propos by the way. He seemed to have no clue what I was talking about," he mocks, affecting the Capitalites posh accent. But I could tell that he wasn't being honest with me. Not that I trust him anyway. But, I know that he wields no real power, so it's not him that wants you out…"

"Coin?" Peeta whispers.

"My money's on her." Haymitch, agrees. "Plus, and he didn't put it in so many words, but Plutarch kind of made it seem that Coin's taken a shine to Hawthorn. Says that he looks good next to Katniss. Not as... soft," he adds, wincing at the insensitivity of the comment.

He grew up with two brothers and an abusive mother. He'd taken hit after hit from both fists and kitchen utensils and yet nothing, absolutely nothing could compare to the pain that courses through him at Haymitch's admission. It's as if that one comment has illuminated his lifelong insecurity of never being enough, just now, it's being picked apart and broadcast in front of people he barely knows.

He's always felt uncertain about himself.

The last son, the least wanted and the least loved. It's why he still can't believe that he has Katniss in his life.

"Hey, hey, no one's agreeing with her boy," Haymitch cuts in, acutely aware of Peeta's anxieties.

"You are the only one that should be standing alongside your wife in this. No matter if she has a history with Gale or if he's playing teacher's pet."

"But, Plutarch said…"

"And, did we not address the fact that he's an asshat earlier?"

"Besides, when it comes to you kids, I'm in charge. Coin has to take my direction on that. She doesn't like it, but well, I don't like her so..."

At Peeta's confused gaze, he adds, "She's got these dead eyes that make you uncomfortable."

"So if you don't like her and you don't trust Plutarch why are we here? What are we doing?" Peeta asks nonplussed.

"Listen kid, my feelings don't matter right now. We all have one central enemy and that's Snow, everyone else has to take a number after that. Ya ever hear keep your friends close and you're enemies closer?"

Peeta nods.

"Well…"

"So we're basically using her because we have a common enemy?"

"Looks like someone wore their smart pants today," Haymitch laughs.

Peeta glares at him derisively before dropping his head to his folded arms on the table.

"I'm guessing from your dramatic posture that something else is going on?"

"I feel like she's going to leave me," he murmurs; voicing the fear that has taken hold of him these past few days.

"What? Who's leaving?" Haymitch asks.

"Katniss," Peeta declares turning his head in to Haymitch.

"Where's she going to go? She's about to pop."

"All this time with Gale, I just feel like…" he trails off.

"Feeling a bit jealous there Mellark?"

"It's more than that. The past couple of months have been surreal. Katniss, our wedding, the baby. They're all things that I've wished for, but never thought would manifest in real life. I think I dreamed about it for so long that it all still feels surreal and one day I'll wake up and it will all be gone."

Haymitch stares at him for several hard minutes before he utters, "You're real stupid, ya know that?"

Taken aback at his mentor's callous objections, he gets up to leave. Haymitch grabs his arm, pulling him back down to the table.

"You listen here. That girl. The one that you married? The one that you put a baby in? That girl loves you more than life itself. She looks at you like the fucking sun shines out of your ass for fuck's sake. How in all of Panem could you think she'd leave you for Mr. Moody just because they've been hanging around each other again?"

" _Fair enough_ ," he thinks, maybe it _is_ him being petty, but, "I can't help thinking that I was forced on her. You told us that once we got on this ride we had to stay on it forever and well I can't help but wonder if her decision hadn't have been made for her if she…"

"Would've chosen Gale? Peeta look at me, I won't lie to you. I knew that in your first Games that it was like that, but I'll tell you something, when she found you in the woods, near death, that did something to her. I know she seemed cold and distance, but she liked you Peeta. Told me so herself when I was prepping her. She told me how you'd saved her when ya'll were kids and that she never knew how to thank you. Said she needed to try and pay the favour back and save you this time. So you see boy? You were always on her mind."

He's stunned. He didn't know any of this. Yes, he knew that she remembered about the bread, they'd talked about it in the cave, but he didn't think he was ever more than a passing memory for her.

"She's not going to leave you boy. Katniss if nothing, is loyal and slow to trust. And you've managed to become one of the few that she allows in. Never doubt that she loves you. She **_chose_** to love you. Loves you like her Mama loved her Pa. It's an all-consuming love and she's not going to be so easily swayed away. Especially since you love her the same way, maybe even more so and you treat her right, the way a man should treat his woman. She ain't going nowhere."

Peeta needs some time to ruminate over all he's just learned and figures that Haymitch is done lecturing him when he mutters, "I should know because Effie left me once."


	23. Chapter 23

**_AN:_** _So, I have to admit that I struggled quite a bit with this chapter. It is very dialogue heavy and I agonized over making sure that it came across as being honest and real, especially_ _for the characters and the setting. I've rewritten portions of it over and over and what follows below is the best version so far. I know that there may be some errors still that my tired eyes may have overlooked in the revision process, so forgive me for that. Sometimes when you stare at your writing for too long, the words blur and you can't see the flaws anymore._

 _Anyway, please let me know what you think. I genuinely take constructive criticism._

* * *

He returns to their room on a tread so light that even Katniss herself would be proud. He knows she's exhausted and he doesn't want to wake her, but once a hunter always a hunter and as he slips into the bed behind her he's not surprised when she turns towards him.

Warm and ruffled from sleep she curls her body around his.

"Hey," she breathes into his neck.

Leaning forward he presses a soft kiss to her jaw.

"Sorry did I wake you?"

"No, I can't really sleep when you're not here," she whispers.

"I'm sorry. I was with Haymitch."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," he supplies, rubbing his hand up and down her back, knowing that the gesture will lull her back to sleep. She nuzzles deeper into him in return.

"Peeta?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you upset with me?"

He pulls away gently so that he can look into her face.

"No. Why would you think that?" He asks, his brows furrowed in concern.

Running her hand up his chest, she worries the fabric of his shirt in between her fingers, a tell that she's unsure of how to approach the topic.

"It's just…well… I've barely seen you these past couple of days and every time I ask- everyone keeps saying that 'you're busy'. It just feels like you're avoiding me or something."

Slipping a hand around her thigh, he pulls her closer to him. At least as close as their growing child will allow.

"Baby, I'm not mad at you. Actually I'm a little mad at myself for making you feel that way."

"Where've you been then?"

"Well Coin has me doing surveillance all day."

"Okay, but you're expected to drop that for filming."

Sighing he readjusts so that he can see her better in the dim light and so that she can see his sincerity when he says, "I've kinda been pushed out of the propos."

"WHAT?" She seethes, her voice dropping several octaves. "By who?"

"Haymitch thinks it's Coin."

He can see the flush of anger spreading through his wife's face and quickly moves to calm her.

"It's just a theory Katniss."

"Sounds more than 'just a theory' if you're discussing it with Haymitch," she replies.

"Well I started noticing that they needed me less and less and when I finally asked Plutarch about it he just shrugged it off and said that it was really you that they wanted anyway. And then they started having Gale in them- and well I just felt like I was useless. He looks better next to you anyway; sells the cause more. I'm pretty sure Coin prefers if he was your husband and that it was his baby you were carrying."

"Gale isn't my husband," she angrily says. "He's not my partner. He's barely even a friend anymore."

Dropping her voice to a softer tone, she stops to cup his cheek.

"He doesn't look better next to me Peeta. You do. You're the only reason that I agreed to do the stupid things in the first place because I need your steadiness and silver tongue to do what I can't. Gale has too much anger in him to do anything other than provoke that emotion in others. You though, you inspire so much more than hate and anger. You make the people feel hope."

"Yeah, well unfortunately Coin doesn't feel the same way."

Turning from her, he voices the fear that'd been brewing in him lately.

"Anyway, with Gale back in your life now, I was starting to think you'd be better off without me."

He feels her tense up under his fingers at that and he prepares to tell her what Haymitch told him when she interrupts.

"Get up."

"Kat, I know how…"

"Get. Up. Now." Her quiet demand, dangerous in the still room.

"Now Katniss…" he hesitates getting off the bed, arms out in defense as he turns to face her. She sits up, grabbing the headboard to hoist herself to her feet. He can see the anger in her eyes, narrowed and glaring daggers at him even in the dim light.

"You think that because I've been forced to spend time with Gale that all of a sudden I'm just going to replace him for you? Is that what you think of me? That what- you were just a placeholder until I mended my friendship with him? That I'll just cozy up next to whoever is accessible?!"

With every questions her voice gets louder and louder and he's afraid that they'll wake the neighbors.

"Katniss, honey lower your voice," he says.

"Don't you fucking tell me to lower my voice Peeta Mellark! I will speak as loud as I want especially when my husband is behaving like a jackass!"

He winces at her reproach, but knows that she's not completely wrong.

"Or is it that Gale's back and you've just decided that you didn't want me anymore? He could have me now? What the victory of beating him in that _ridiculous_ contest you two were having over me wasn't worthwhile anymore, huh? You got to test drive me first and now you're done?!" she screams, her voice cracking on the last word.

Every accusation she hurls at him rips into his heart. The pain made worse when he sees that her verbal tirade has induced an emotional release. The heated tears spilling down her cheeks faster than she can swipe at them.

He knows that she'll object, but nonetheless he walks towards her gathering her against him tightly even as she fiercely protests, beating at his chest in defiance. But, she's tired and it isn't long before her hands fall to her side and she lets herself sob into his shirt.

"I can't… believe you'd give up… on us so easily. You…you promised me… always," she finishes with a shuddering cry.

During all his introspection he never once thought about how his distance would make her feel. Now, he stands, squeezing his wife firmly to him and secretly praying to whoever will listen to allow her to forgive him for his transgressions. Praying alone won't help though and as her tears begin to wane he conjures up his apology.

"Baby, I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you're disposable. That's the furthest thing from the truth. Rather I thought that of myself. I'm sorry that I made you doubt my commitment to you. To _us_. To our _family_. I was being a fool, caught up in my own head. I never intended to make you feel like some sort of prize in a contest. Yes, you are a gift to me, but only because my life was barely worth living before you came in to it. You are the singular reason that I'm here today. It's always been you."

"Then why?" She asks, peering up at him through soaked lashes.

"I was being a jackass?" He muses, lifting his shoulder in nonchalance.

She's not amused at his use of her earlier insult, though her initial anger seems to have waned.

"Seeing him with you brought back all my old insecurities. And I'll be honest and say that I was jealous. Just like I used to be when I would watch you guys together when we were younger."

"But, Peeta he and I were only ever friends. At least on my part."

"I know that now," he smirks, and she pinches his arm in retribution.

He snakes his hand under her hair and tips her face so that he can press a kiss against her head.

"I'm still very mad at you," she replies.

"I know, come here."

Taking her hand he leads her back to the bed, but when she makes to sit next to him he pulls her into his lap.

"Peeta I'm too heavy," she whines.

"Shh, I want you to listen for a sec, my love. I was upset earlier when Haymitch came to get me. I've been eating by myself for a week now and I was missing you so much and it just feels like this place has been pulling us apart. Add Gale to the mix and well… all those feelings were starting to overwhelm me. It made me forget how grateful I should be for what I have. I know I shouldn't feel like I'm going to lose you, but I've rarely had anything good in my life that hasn't been taken away."

"Oh, my love," Katniss mirrors, as she grips his face between her hands. "Do you not think I have those same worries? I'm terrified that one day I'll wake up and all this will be gone. You, the baby, our life. You're all things I never wanted to hope for because life taught me to not ask for anything. My life was just about existing for so long that I forgot how to dream or how to want anything that wasn't the barest of essentials."

He pulls her body closer to him, resting his head on her breast like a child.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think that you might be worried too."

"Because you chose to not come to me with your problems. When we got married we promised to always be there for each other. That means in all aspects. But, if you don't tell me when something's bothering you, how am I supposed to help?"

"You're right. I know. I think I've been a victim in my life for so long that it's my default to shut down. I didn't want to bother you, so I didn't say anything."

"Yes, but then look what happened. You acting like that made me think that I'd done something and I didn't even know what it could be."

"I'm sorry. I'll try to not do that again. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you'd done something or that I was upset with you. Trust me when I say that Haymitch called me out on my behaviour. He told me I was being stupid."

"Yes, well, I've always thought Haymitch had some good points," she grins.

"Yeah, well, sober looks good on him at the moment," Peeta replies.

He cords his fingers in her hair, wrapping tendrils around his finger as he continues, "Seriously though Katniss. I… I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you. I don't think I could go on. I've been wallowing in self-pity these last couple of weeks and I've had time to think about what a blessing you've been in my life. You give my life meaning and I want to be the best husband that I can be so that I can continue to be worthy of your love. I don't want what nearly happened to Haymitch to happen to me."

She lifts her head gently from where it had come to rest on the top of his.

"What happened to Haymitch?"

"He told me that Effie left him once."

"Really?" she asks surprised. "If anyone were to leave between those two, I'd assumed it would be him."

"Yeah, well he kind of banked on that too it seems. Without being explicit, he uhh… said that him and Effie had kind of been hooking up for years…"

"Ugh…I definitely didn't need that imagery," she repulsed.

"Same here. But, he said it'd been going on for awhile and he knew that she was in love with him and he purposely distanced himself from her after he realized it. It was never his intention for things to get too serious between them. So when she finally gave him an ultimatum he callously threw it back in her face. It ended in a huge argument and with her slamming the penthouse door and never coming back. They fight all the time so he just assumed that she'd be fine come the next year."

"And I'm guessing she wasn't?"

"When he arrived in the Capitol for The Games the following year she was engaged."

Katniss startles at his words. "Engaged? I never knew."

"Haymitch said she didn't even tell him. He thought she might've still been pissed from their last interaction because she refused to look at him and they basically organized their Tributes that year through the Avox's. When he finally confronted her, he said that she lifted her hand up, showed him her ring and said that just because he was incapable of making a decision doesn't mean that she was."

"Wow…"

"Yeah, wow is right. He said that he knew he'd loved her for a while, but it was hard for him after everything that happened after his games to let anyone in. Plus, he was terrified about what Snow would do to her if he ever found out. But, seeing her with another man broke him and he knew that he couldn't let her be with someone else."

Enraptured by the story, Katniss leans in with rapt attention, "So what did he do?"

Peeta smirks," He married her before the final interview."

"That's actually really sweet," she remarks.

"I know. Who knew that Haymitch was secretly a romantic? He told me that story though to give me perspective; so that I didn't do something stupid like watch you walk out of my life."

"Peeta—"

"I know, I know you're not, but when he shared that story with me, it really made me see that I could be the reason that you might leave. That we wouldn't need someone to drive us apart. That my own inane uncertainties would be enough."

"Yes, well if you'd been around more, you'd have seen that while Gale and I have to work together our interactions are barely cordial once the cameras stop rolling. He hurt me and our relationship with his attitude and there's no easy fix."

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you two?"

She kisses his cheek before getting up from his lap.

"It's not important. It wasn't then and it isn't now."

"But still, it upset you enough to stop speaking to him. He was your best friend Kat."

She sighs, "I'll tell you on one condition."

"What's that?" He asks.

"You're not allowed to retaliate. You will not confront him about it. What's done is done. It's in the past now."

He purses his lips in consternation, "That warning doesn't bode well Katniss."

"Just- promise me," she says, holding her pinky out towards him.

"Fine," he sighs, hooking his matching finger with hers.

Now that he can see that her temperament has evened, he pulls her back down onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her, mimicking their position from earlier in the night.

"Remember when we got back from the tour how we were- well… kind of all over each other," she begins.

Laughing, he replies, "Mmm, definitely."

She smacks his chest playfully.

"Well Gale happened to come by the house one day looking for me. Apparently he heard- us…" She cringes, biting her lip.

Peeta sits up a bit straighter in the bed at that.

"You mean, he _**heard us, heard us**_?" He questions, eyebrows raised in alarm.

"What else do you think it means silly." She grins.

"I just wanted to clarify."

"Yeah, well I went to meet him in the woods one Sunday and he screamed at me about letting you- and I quote, 'plough me like a wheat field for the whole district to hear.' "

"Well damn…"

"He was so nasty about it. Since we came back from the Games he was openly contemptuous about our relationship and never tired of making me aware of it. That day in the woods though was the last straw. To turn what we do together as a couple in private into something so disdainful… well it made me feel like I was no better than those girls that frequent the slag heap. I know that what we have is more than that and I hated that he cheapened it."

"Okay, I get it now." Peeta nods.

"Get, what?"

"Why you warned me not to do anything to him once you told me because right now I want to bash his face in."

"Peeta!"

"Only a little…" He corrects. "Come on just one punch."

"No, behave yourself. I told you, I'm over it. Seems like he is too. He had come around to apologize after we'd been reaped again and I told him to forget it. I don't think he even thinks about me that way anymore. I think some other girl's caught his eye now."

"Well good, because you're my girl and I'm not giving you up."

"You better not. You're mine too," she reprimands, squeezing his behind in confirmation.

"Say," he whispers low against her ear, his warm breath teasing her sensitive skin and sending a shiver down her spine. "How about we let all our new neighbors know just how well District Twelve can plough."

* * *

 _ **AN**_ : _I know, I know, two author's notes in one chapter is a bit much!_

 _I did want to let you all know that the next chapter is going to be a departure from the usual and is going to be in Gale's POV alone. When I started this fic, my main goal was to make this specifically about Katniss and Peeta relationship. In the beginning, I tried to write Gale in from time to time, but it never worked out. The scenes always felt forced somehow, much like I think any romantic relationship him and Katniss might have had would be. Anyhow, since he is quite a significant character in the HG world what I did was write a piece that's solely his. It's probably going to be the only chapter like it and can actually serve as a stand alone ficlet._

 _Remember, reviews are love and help motivate the writer :)_


	24. Chapter 24

_**AN** : The chapter below is what I briefly spoke about at the end of the last chapter and is entirely from Gale's POV. It will more than likely be the only one of it's kind as he was never meant to be anything other than a cursory background character for me. But, with the tension that he's unknowingly created in Peeta and Katniss' relationship lately, I thought it was time we heard from him._

 _For reference, this starts right after the Victory Tour and ends at present day in District 13. Let me know if there is any confusion on the time frame or sequence of events._

* * *

Gale had been excitedly waiting for Katniss at their usual spot in the woods her first Sunday back after the tour.

He'd missed her. He'd missed _**them**_ to be honest.

He'd only been able to spare a couple of hours to greet her at the station last week. The mine's kept him bound to its dark underbelly 6 days a week and even though he hated it, he'd asked for extra hours. There was something very important that he was saving for and regardless of what he saw on the tour, he was going to declare his feelings for her once he worked up his courage.

He'd been sitting, waiting for her for well over an hour before worry started to settle in. She was usually never late.

Normally she was the one waiting for him.

Wanting to make sure that everything was okay, he'd made his way to Victor's Village to check in on her.

Knowing her front door was always open he'd entered the house, calling for her. He poked his head into a couple of rooms before realizing that no one was home.

That initial small seed of worry began to bloom in earnest within him now. He knew that Mrs. Everdeen and Prim were probably busy. With today being the only day Seam folk were off, they tended to be gone from sun up to sun down treating patients. Their absence was understandable, but where the hell was Katniss?

Closing her door, he made his way back up the road that separated the 12 houses in the village. As he passed Peeta's house a sound stopped him in his tracks. He could swear he heard her voice coming from inside. Before he could contemplate why she'd be over there he'd turned towards the house waiting to see if he heard it again. This time a soft giggle floated down to him from one of the open windows.

It was definitely her.

He would know her laugh anywhere.

They were so few and far between that he'd not only transcribed every nuance of the sound into his memory, but each time he'd managed to provoke it from her as well.

He knocked on the door, but when it went unanswered he found it unlocked as well and invited himself inside.

He didn't have to go very far in for his ears to be assailed by her voice again, but unlike her familiar laugh, her throaty cries of ecstasy were completely foreign to him.

"Oh…Oh God. Fuck…" was followed by several loud moans of Peeta's name.

Gale's eyes widened in frightful recognition even as his traitorous stomach tightened in arousal from her breathy gasps.

He'd dreamt about her voice in the throes of passion before. Many times. But he was always the cause of her pleasure. The sharp sting of jealousy pierced his chest as he stood frozen to the floor.

The banging of the headboard against the wall above him nearly drowned out her continued mewls of, "Yes, Peeta right there, right there!"

Adding insult to injury, it was Peeta's shout of her name that finally broke Gale's spell and he all but flew from the house, nearly stumbling down the stairs in his haste.

Chest heaving, he stood in the middle of road trying to get his bearings. He didn't have the words to describe the pain that overwhelmed him. He was hurt and angry, but most of all he felt betrayed.

"I coulda told ya not to go over there," came a voice from across the street.

Turning his head in the speaker's direction, he could just make out Twelve's original victor sitting on a chair on his porch in the early morning sun.

"Those two are like fucking rabbits. I keep telling 'em to shut those goddamn windows. Nobody needs to hear that shit."

He stared at the old man a second before breaking out into a run. He didn't stop until he was under the fence, clutching at his side as he tried to regain his breath.

It's in the safety of the woods that he finally lets his tears fall.

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When he returns home that night he fishes the small pouch that he's been saving his money in and weighs it in his hand. He was only months away from being able to have a ring made for her. Walking into the kitchen he tosses it on to the table where his mother sits shelling peas.

"What's this?" She points.

"Use it for the kids, or bills, whatever. I don't need it anymore."

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He sees Katniss sparingly after that.

He can't bring himself to look at her knowing what he knows. He also can't help but hate Mellark who's always with her. Though seeing how happy he makes her, makes it all a bit more difficult.

He feels like he lost a game that he didn't know he was supposed to be playing.

They hunt infrequently as she has the liberty to do it during the week. He senses that on the rare occasions that she does joins him, it's only for his amusement. He tries to keep his emotions in check around her, keeping their conversations as neutral as possible so that he doesn't expose his grief. It doesn't help that she manages to insert Peeta into almost every sentence that she speaks.

He still waits for her every Sunday though.

He never knows when she'll show up and he can't break the habit no matter how hard he tries. It's been ingrained into him in the last years.

He's just about to make his way towards the denser part of the forest when he hears rushed footsteps behind him and a ragged call of his name. When she makes her way over to him, her cheeks are slightly red and she's smiling.

"I've been calling your name from a mile back," she laughs.

She unwinds her scarf from around her neck, warm from the sudden burst of energy. His eyes follow her manipulations coming to rest on the large love bite on her neck. Disgusted, he turns away from her with a sneer and continues on.

"Hey, wait up!" She calls, but he doesn't stop, instead increasing his pace, hoping that he'll lose her. But, she is too quick and if anyone knows the forest better than him it's her.

He feels her grab his arm and pull him back. "What is your problem, Gale?"

The weeks of pain come spewing forth and he shouts back at her.

"My problem? I don't have a problem Everdeen. Why don't you crawl back home to your fiancé and leave me alone!"

He's hurt her, he can tell from her stunned expression and he immediately feels bad for yelling at her.

"Do you not want to hunt together anymore?" She asks quietly.

Sighing heavily, he looks down at her.

"I should be asking you that. I wait all week, toiling in the mine's just to have this one day with you. Most of the time you don't even show up and when you do you're always running off early. How am I supposed to feel?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think-"

"That's just it," he interrupts, his anger flaring again. "You never think about anyone's feelings, but your own!"

Her initial upset is quickly replaced with her own temper.

"Now, you hold on a minute Gale. I was giving you space. Since I've been back you've seemed so angry and distant. Not to mention all your little snide remarks about Peeta that you think I don't hear. We thought it might be best to give you some time to work through your issues."

He can't see past the 'we' in her sentence to understand that she was actually trying to be thoughtful.

"Oh, I'm sure Mellark was only too happy to counsel you on what to do about me." He mocks.

Oblivious to his sarcasm she responds, "I was worried that something was wrong and I went to him for advice. He said that you would come to me when you were ready. He's teaching me to be more aware of other people's feelings. So to say that I only-"

"You sure that's all he's teaching you?" He interrupts before he can stop himself.

"What?" She questions, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing."

"No, it's not 'nothing'. What did you say?"

He's already come this far, he might as well put everything on the table.

"I heard you two."

"Heard what?" She asks.

"The two of you... being together..." He spits.

Just getting the words out is difficult and he feels nausea bubbling in his belly.

When she continues to stare at him, eyebrow askew, he realizes that she doesn't understand what he's trying to get at.

"The first Sunday you were back. I went to find you when you didn't show here," he gestures to their surroundings. "I heard the two of you at his house."

"And?"

"Dammit Katniss, the headboard was banging against the wall so loud, your drunk mentor heard it from across the street!"

Her whole body flushes crimson in embarrassment. She's speechless and stares at the ground refusing to look at him.

He scoffs, "It's not enough to hear it, but now you're walking around with a hickey the size of an orange on your neck."

Her hands instantly comes up to her throat where the evidence of Peeta's passion is branded on her skin. She rewraps her scarf around it to hide the bruise as if that will remove the image from his memory.

"You barely let me hug you and yet you're letting him plough you like a wheat field for the whole damn district to hear!"

She finally looks up at him, irate revulsion evident in her gaze.

"Fuck you Gale!"

"Fuck me?! I think you and the Mellark are the only ones doing any fucking around here!" He shouts.

The slap he receives in retribution is fast and swift, momentarily stunning him. By the time he realizes what's happened Katniss was already storming back to town.

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He begins to learn a life without Katniss Everdeen and although he's still devastated by her behaviour he comes to realize that he was wrong in assuming that she was supposed to be his. His mother tells him that he has to stop thinking that Katniss' affections was something that was owed to him for all their years of mutualistic survival.

"Stop confusing loyalty with love Gale. She's not for you and you need to realize that. Her heart's already been taken. Anyone with eyes can see that! You keep pining after her and you'll miss out on the one that you're truly meant to be with. Trust me," she'd counseled.

That sentiment above all others stays with him.

He holds on to it when he starts to return the sweet smiles of the mayor's pretty daughter. He'd never really noticed her before. Katniss used to trade primarily with her family and now that she no longer hunts with him, he's gotten to know the shy girl.

That's not to say that it doesn't still pain him when he overhears Mrs. Everdeen telling his mother about Katniss and Peeta's upcoming toasting.

He kisses Madge for the first time that night; sad and a little heartbroken he knows it's wrong. But as she responds to him, kissing him back just as intensely, the guilt gradually falls away replaced by a feeling that perhaps this is what his mother meant. In _**this**_ moment, with _**this**_ girl, this is what he was supposed to wait for.

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Now, when he looks at Katniss all he feels towards her is a tender gratefulness that she inadvertently led him to his own happiness. Albeit, vastly different from the way that he'd anticipated.

He used to think that they were fated to be with one another, but now as he watches her from across the boardroom table in command as she tenderly caresses her swollen abdomen, he knows that he was mistaken.

They'd managed to find each other in the worst of circumstances and that bound their lives together, but it didn't mean that love was the next step. Sure, it might've been expected, he sure thought it did, but it was wrong to assume that she would return his affections in kind.

Currently they sit listening to Boggs and Coin layout new strategies for an attack and he can't help casually observing the girl he once loved and her husband.

Peeta sits next to her holding her hand, intermittently lifting it to his lips to kiss the back of her fingers. They share a myriad of private smiles and soft gazes that irk Coin much to his own amusement and he spots her casting annoyed glances in their direction from time to time.

When the meeting breaks, he watches as Peeta helps Katniss up from her chair. The weight of the baby is making her slow and unbalanced and she needs assistance getting on or off things. Not for the first time he notices just how well they fit together, how their bodies can communicate without any words being spoken.

His mother was right.

Katniss was never his.

He smiles at them making his way around the table to help.

"Anytime now, huh?"

Peeta smiles back as Katniss rubs her lower back with a grimace. "Yup, we're on the home stretch."

"She better be," Katniss groans. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Always so impatient Everdeen," he jokes.

She glares at him in reprisal.

He walks with them back to the housing units where they maintain a light conversation the entire way, even sharing a few laughs.

He and Katniss may never get back the closeness that they once had, but they've come a long way since that day in the woods.

"Goodnight you two," he bids,as they get to the intersection that divides their rooms, "don't get up to any trouble."

"What more trouble could we be possibly get in to?" Katniss teases, patting her belly before she turns and enters their room.

He turns down the hallway, whistling as he dips his hands into his pocket, fingering the little oval that's been burning a hole there for days now. He's so glad that he was able to move on because tonight when he slips the ring on Madge's finger he knows that she is its rightful owner. She is the one that he belongs too.

* * *

*** Remember, reviews are love :)


	25. Chapter 25

_**AN:** I have no idea where this chapter came from, but I'm not mad at it :)_

* * *

Katniss was hungry.

She swears that the rapacious appetite that she's developed during her pregnancy trumps any hunger pangs she may have had from even her bleakest moments of starvation.

" _It's funny how no matter how much we have, we're still guided by our most basic needs,"_ she reasons to herself, when she subconsciously finds her feet leading her to the dining hall.

Though almost all of Thirteen's residents had specific meal times, Katniss was granted the privilege of obtaining food whenever she liked. At first she assumed it was out of some sort of preferential Mockingjay treatment, but she soon realized that in fact it was an accommodation allotted to those that were pregnant and young children. With so few of them in the district, special care was given to maintain their health.

There's an elderly lady that mans the food line during off hours and she smiles when she sees Katniss approaching. She lifts her hand gesturing for Katniss to wait and disappears behind the doors to the kitchen.

She reemerges seconds later with a covered plate.

"Here you go dearie," she says, unveiling two warm rolls, a pad of butter and some jam.

"That husband of yours said to make sure you got this," she winks.

Laughing, Katniss accepts the plate.

"Thank you, Marta. Would you like some? I can share."

"Oh no, no, you go ahead. Now that your boy's in the kitchen, we're all eating better," she smiles.

In only a couple of weeks, the pallid visage of the underground districts residents had started to brighten once the Mellark men had taken over in the kitchen. Wanting to pull their weight after they'd recovered, Peeta's father and brother had asked if they could assist in meal preparations. Once the staff realized what the two men could truly do with a little flour and sugar, they'd quickly been moved to the forefront.

Peeta wanting to be close to his remaining family _**and**_ wanting the escapism that baking permitted, has taken to joining them whenever his schedule will allow.

Under their combined skills, the district had begun to fatten up, albeit marginally. The once poor excuse for the daily bread allotment was soon replaced with loaves somehow superior, even with the same old ingredients, a testament to their expertise.

And while supplies were of course rationed as there was no excess for things like daily cookies or cakes, once in a while everyone was treated to a Mellark confection.

Though Katniss herself had been known to get her very own treats on a _pretty_ regular basis, baked and secreted away by her husband.

But as she peers at the giant steel doors, she knows that Peeta isn't behind them today.

He's in training right now and has been for weeks.

And while she's been enjoying his newly acquired muscles, she worries at what all this training means in the long run. With her due date approaching and plans to seize the nut imminent, she's terrified that Coin would be shipping him out with the rest of the soldiers.

" _One thing at a time,"_ she thinks.

Her brain and nerves can only handle so much stress at any given time and right now all she wants is to devour her snack and maybe take a nap before her next meeting.

She spots a familiar head across the dining hall and makes her way over.

"Katniss, my dear!" Effie grins, gesturing for her to join them.

Even weeks after their arrival, Katniss still catches herself when she sees Effie.

Now devoid of any signs of the Capital's affectations, she'd been floored by how pretty her former escort truly was. That hidden behind all those layers of makeup were eyes of the palest blue; nearly clear and a creamy complexion dotted with freckles right across her nose bridge. Bereft of her ridiculously coloured wigs, it was also discovered that she had lovely blonde curls from whence her son had clearly inherited his.

Speaking of sons, little Elgin sits in his mother's lap, originally hidden from view by her body. From the looks of it, Effie has been attempting to get him to eat. Though one look at his plate and Katniss quickly deduces that it might not be the easiest of tasks.

"Hi Elgin," Katniss greets, smiling at the child from across the table.

He looks up at her with his big grey eyes and not for the first time does she wonder whether her daughter might look a little like him. The combination of his features eerily paralleling hers and Peeta's.

"Hi Aunty Katniss," he responds gloomily, and Effie takes the opportunity to try and put a spoonful of some kind of stew in his mouth. At the sight of which, he immediately clamps his lips shut and buries his face in his mother's chest.

"Elgi…" Effie sighs.

"Why won't he eat?" Katniss asks.

"He's been having some adjustment issues. He's not accustomed to this…" Effie trails off, hands gesturing around. "And we've been having some trouble getting him to eat. The food is… not what he's used to," she adds, hugging his body to hers a little tighter.

Katniss nods.

Though Effie and Haymitch have yet to disclose the full history of their relationship to her and Peeta, they had managed to learn that their child had been living with Effie's sister and her senator husband in the Capital. Though he knew that they weren't his real parents, Elgin had been treated like their own and grew up with the finer things that their lavish lifestyle could provide.

The bowl of brown glob in front of him would definitely not be considered lavish by any means.

"Baby, just have a little more," Effie pleads and he looks at the food with furrowed brows and shakes his head.

Effie exhales, the sound laced with exasperation and drops the spoon back into the bowl resting her head atop her son's curls.

But while she looks away, Katniss notes that Elgin watches her with open hunger as she spreads jam on half of one of the buns with interest.

"Do you want some of this instead?" She asks him and he nods his head vigorously in agreement.

The movement jars Effie and she looks up.

"That's for Aunty Katniss honey. You have to eat _your_ food."

"It's okay Eff. He can have some," she says. Smirking when he takes the proffered food from her outstretched hand and shoves the entire piece into his mouth.

"Elgin, where are your manners?" His mother asks.

"Fank oo," he mumbles around his food, smiling when Katniss leans across the table to wipe a smear of jam off the corner of his mouth.

"Would you like some more?" She inquires.

He looks up at his mother and though decorum dictate that she decline, she acquiesces with a nod and he scrambles off her lap, darting around the table to Katniss. Effie in turn casts a grateful looks towards her victor.

It's when he attempt to settle in Katniss' lap that she notes the stuffed elephant in his hands and smirks, realizing that at nearly 5 (younger than she'd previously thought) he's still so very young.

"Your tummy is in the way," he tells her after he fails to climb on to her lap.

"Elgin!" Effie admonishes.

"It's okay," Katniss laughs.

Turning to the young boy she adds, "You're not wrong. The baby is taking up a lot of space. But, after she's born, then you can sit on my lap all you want."

He takes the information in nodding thoughtfully.

"Wait, is Mama's belly going to get that big too?" He asks.

"Well yeah," Katniss replies. "As the baby gets bigger, her tummy will grow so that the baby will have room."

He looks over at his mother in alarm.

"But then I won't be able to cuddle with her," he whimpers, his breathing becoming shallow and his lower lids quickly pooling.

"Aww, baby come here," Effie cries, ushering him back over to her.

She lifts him back on to her lap, his little legs resting on either side of her waist. She cradles him against her, gently rocking him from side to side.

"You can always cuddle with me no matter what. Even if my belly gets as big as the world. We'll find a way okay?" She promises, kissing his head in confirmation of her words.

Katniss looks over at the pair wistfully. She hopes that she will be as good a mother as Effie is. So accustomed to the more uptight aspects of her Escort's personality, she was pleasantly surprised to see how warm and genuinely maternal the woman was. It was incredibly telling that though her son had been raised by others, he was clearly very attached to her.

"Mama?" Elgin asks after several minutes, his voice no longer shaky with tears.

"Yes…"

"Can I go get more bread now?"

Effie chuckles, "Of course, just be careful not to squish your aunt. How about you sit next to her instead of on her, hmm?"

He quickly dashes back over to Katniss with glee.

00000000000000000000000000000

"Want to tell me what's been on your mind?" Effie asks her.

Startled she looks up at the older woman, whose eyebrows are raised in question.

They'd just left the dining hall and Effie was carrying a now sleeping Elgin back to their room and Katniss had decided to accompany them.

"Katniss, I think I know you well enough now to know when something is bothering you."

She bites her lip pensively wondering if she should share her problems. Figuring that she could use another voice of advice other than the ones currently at war in her mind, she relents.

"I'm worried about Peeta."

"Oh, is he hurt or in trouble?"

"Well no…"

"Is it general worry for his wellbeing or is there something else going on that I'm not aware of?" Effie questions.

"It's just that he's been training so much lately and while we've been told it's more precautionary than anything else… I'm concerned that Coin is going to send him into battle."

Effie sighs, "Welcome to being a wife during war time."

Katniss huffs in response.

"It's not enough that we have to worry about the everyday things with our husbands, but during times like these, you become well acquainted with an almost permanent knot of discontent that sits in your stomach. I would know. Mine's been steadily growing over the last decade or so."

"How do you deal with it though? The fear, the anxiety?"

Pausing she watches as Effie shrugs Elgin's sleeping form up as he'd begun to slip down.

"Should you be carrying him in your condition Eff?" She asks.

Effie peers down at her son, sweeping his hair from off of his face before planting a kiss on him.

"I can't help it. This is the first time in five years that I've been allowed to be a mother for more than a handful of hours at a time. My arms have ached to hold him for so long that I'll take any discomfort that I have now."

Effie's confession is a sobering thought and Katniss wonders out loud at how she managed to be away from both her husband and her son so much of the time.

"Well, with Haymitch, it was hard, but I'd grown accustomed to only seeing him a handful of weeks every year. After we began a relationship, he tried to do more Victor type activities that would bring him to the Capital. With this one though…" she nods down at her son, "the pain of not seeing him or being near him nearly drove me crazy."

Arriving at her and Haymitch's room, Katniss opens the door for her as Effie's hands are otherwise occupied. She enters the family's small compartment and takes a seat on their couch.

Tilting her head so that she could see into the adjoining room, she watches as Effie tries to lay Elgin on his cot, struggling for a moment as he holds on tight to his mother. She observes Effie whispering to him gently and his arms finally relent their grip from around her neck. She covers him with a blanket before joining Katniss.

"Is he alright?" She asks.

"Yes, it seems were both having some separation anxiety now that we're finally together."

A gentle quietness falls between them and Katniss is just about to bring up Peeta again when Effie breaks the silence.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. Escorts aren't allowed to have children. If anyone had found out, I would have been terminated."

"Would that have been so bad though; to be fired?" Katniss queries.

"No, my dear. Termination does not mean fired," Effie adds, looking at Katniss beseechingly.

"Ohh…" she retracts, her mind quickly remembering Seneca Crane's 'termination' from the year before.

Effie nods morosely.

"Eff, I can't even imagine what that must have been like. Did you ever consider… you know…"

"Not having him?" Effie continues. "I would be lying if I said no. But, at the end of the day I couldn't bring myself to do it."

Katniss squeezes her hand in solidarity, remembering back to when she faced a similar situation just months before.

"I didn't have much time to decide either because I was in denial that I was even expecting for so long. Then before I knew it, he was here I needed to protect him at all costs."

"Is that when you decided to give him to your sister?"

"Yes and no. I contemplated trying to do it on my own for a little while before reality stepped in and I realized that that was an impossible dream. But, when I held him in my arms, it just felt like I could do anything. He was the most beautiful thing that I'd ever seen and he was all mine," she says, featuring relaxing into a state of wistful nostalgia.

"When Calliope realized how much I was struggling, she and Stannich offered to take him in. It was the best solution that I or Haymitch could hope for honestly. With him close by, I could visit under the pretense of the adoring aunt and it wouldn't raise too many red flags. The ruse itself was fraught with danger though even with everyone sworn to secrecy. But, I could not stay away. Especially since my body yearned for him."

Sniffling, Katniss noticed that Effie had begun to shake with repressed emotion and was trying hard to keep the deep pools of tears welling in her lids from spilling over.

"I would have to sneak around like a thief in the night; stealing over to their house just so that I could nurse my baby."

Effie takes a minute as the retelling has clearly brought up old sensations and Katniss grabs a tissue from a nearby box and passes it over.

"The worst was when I'd have to miss a couple of days here and there because of my work obligations. My absence would not have gone unnoticed, especially during the Games season. I used to have this paralyzing fear that he would forget me. The first time that he turned away from my breast- I cried for a week."

"Oh, Eff…" Katniss consoles, her chest tightening in painful sympathy.

"Haymitch used to joke that I was too possessive of him because I nursed him well past when he should've been weaned," she laughs weakly. "I just couldn't bear him thinking that I'd abandoned him."

Overwhelmed by the confession, Katniss takes a moment to blot at her own tears, attempting to give Effie some time to herself as well, she's surprised when the Escort grips her hand.

Turning to her, she looks up in question.

"I want you to know my dear that Haymitch and I, hell all the rebels did what we did, made the sacrifices that we made because hope painted us a glimpse at what our futures could look like. I will always feel guilty about what I missed out with Elgin, but if it affords your little girl- and mine," she rubs her belly affectionately, "a safer place in this world, then it was worth it."

"We may be able to secure their futures, but what about their father's?" Katniss queries.

"You're worried about Peeta going into combat," Effie states, rather than asks.

"It's not so much the going in that I'm worried about, but the coming out. Training can physically prepare him for battle, but you and I both know that Peeta isn't a fighter. I'm afraid that his innate kindness will earn him a bullet."

"Katniss, my dear. You are forgetting one very important detail here."

"And that is….?"

"Just how important you are to the cause. My darling girl, you can request most anything you want and they'll have to oblige. You are the face of this rebellion. Without you, they'd lose the biggest motivation they have. If you don't want something then demand it so. Use that fiery determination that we all adore."

Katniss looks at her in doubt.

Chuckling, Effie adds, "Katniss, this rebellion has been in the works since before you were born. It was going to happen regardless of whether you or Peeta had ever come along. It was just a matter of when. But, that moment in the arena when you pulled out those berries? That was the spark that we've needed for years. It helped to motivate even the most reluctant of citizens. That's why when I say you have a voice in what happens, I mean it. So go, speak to Haymitch or even Coin herself about your wants. Just remember to take _**that girl**_ who nearly died for her convictions with you."

* * *

 _ **AN**_ : _I sincerely want to thank everyone that has stuck with this story over the last year and some months. I genuinely appreciate every like, follow and favorite that it has earned. This story still has a little ways to go, so I hope I can continue to keep your attention._

 _ **P.S** \- A giant thank you to ALL of my reviewers. Seeing that someone took the time to let me know how they feel means the world to me. This message is especially important for my guest reviewers as I cannot message you guys back with my thanks, so for that I'm sorry. _

_But, keep the comments coming though_!


	26. Chapter 26

_**AN:** Sorry for the long lapse between chapters. This one is short and a filler one at best, but keep the theme in mind. It's important as the story plays out!_

* * *

Emboldened by her conversation with Effie, Katniss decides that now is the best time to confront Coin.

Leaving Effie to rest, she makes her way down the hall to the elevator bank that will take her to the offices down below.

Midway through the trip however, her bladder starts screaming thanks to the small inhabitant protesting her enclosure. The closest restroom is the one in the infirmary, so she hits the appropriate floor to exit.

Sighing as she relieves herself, she hears a giggle from outside the bathroom stall.

"Hello?" She calls out.

"Katniss?" The easily recognizable voice asks before bursting into another round of laughter.

"Don't you laugh at me Primrose! Your niece clearly enjoys torturing me. Between kicking incessantly and wringing my bladder, she might just give the Gamemaker's a run for their money."

Flushing, she emerges from the stall, banging her way out as her form makes it hard to exit the narrow space.

"Need some help there?" Prim chuckles.

"Oh, be quiet," Katniss grumbles, turning on the tap to wash her hands.

"Maybe your temperament will get better next time around," Prim smirks.

"Next time around? You been spending time with your brother in law, I see?"

"You guys are going to have more. It's inevitable. Even if you might not plan too."

"And what makes you so sure about that?"

"Katniss," the young girl laughs, "My room _**is**_ right next to yours. You guys can't keep your hands off of each other."

"Prim!" Katniss shouts, cheeks flushing crimson.

"My nickname might be Prim, but I'm not, Sis. You kind of can't be in my line of work." Prim replies with aplomb. "Besides, I _**know**_ where babies come from. I've delivered a couple myself."

"But, still…." Katniss hesitates.

"Still what?"

"You should still be innocent about certain things. I feel like you've had to grow up faster than necessary. That I failed at letting you be a kid for as long as possible."

"Katniss, because of _**you**_ , I actually got to have a childhood. You took on all the responsibilities of a parent so that I wouldn't see how badly we really were doing. Sure our clothes had holes and our dinners bleak sometimes, but you made sure I survived. I always had you. In hindsight, I feel bad because through all those years, it was you that didn't have someone to rely on."

"You are my little duck. Of course I was going to take care of you. You were the reason that I got up every morning and fought to live."

"But, I wanted you to want to live for yourself, not just for me. It's why I love Peeta so much. He made you feel want. He made you feel love and he made you live."

Stunned, Katniss looks at her little sister; _**really**_ looks at her, and wonders how she missed the fact that she grew up. Her baby blonde hair, now darker, had somehow morphed from two pigtails tied with ribbons to a more mature bun overnight. Her uniform though baggy, only just disguised a more adult figure and her face had begun to thin out as well. The childish fullness disappearing as she segued into womanhood. She was going to be quite the beauty soon.

Her little duck wasn't so little anymore. At some point, she had become a swan and Katniss needed to come to terms with that.

"You okay? You're looking at me funny."

"Yeah," Katniss replies, composing herself, "I can't believe we're having such a deep conversation in the bathroom."

"Why not? Seems it's the best place to find you of late."

"Haha," Katniss mocks.

As they make their way down the hall, she wraps an arm around her sister, tickling her on her side.

Prim giggles, but does nothing to stop her. Instead, puling herself closer to Katniss.

"This right here…" Katniss sighs, and Prim look up at her with open interest. "This right here is why I'll have more children. I want my daughter to have a sibling so that she can know this kind of love." She looks down, stroking her belly with her free hand.

"That no matter what happens, she will have someone in her life that is always there for her. There is such strength in a sibling bond that even if they fall out, at the end of the day they will always have each other. That love won't disappear."

"And here I thought Peeta was the wordsmith in the family," Prim smiles.

"Well, he has been rubbing off on me."

"You sure that's the only thing he's been rubbing?" Prim winks, wiggling her eyebrows lasciviously.

"Primrose!" Katniss shrieks, making to grab her in indignation.

The younger Everdeen is fast though and being unencumbered by the same handicap as her sister, she bolts down the hall towards the doors of the nursing unit.

Huffing, Katniss realizes that in her state running is out of the question. So she makes her way back to the elevator embankment. Just as she's about to step into the car, Prim sticks her head out of the hospital doors.

"By the way, I have a test in the morning. So do try and keep it down tonight, alright?" she laughs, quickly pulling back into the ward at Katniss' thunderous expression.

On her way down to see Coin, she swears that she can hear Prim's hysterical laughter echoing around her.


	27. Chapter 27

**_AN:_** _I'm back! I do apologize for my long absence. I just recently returned from a 6 month tour with Doctor's Without Borders. It was both a life affirming as well as an enriching experience that I will never forget and makes me even more appreciative of the life that I have. With that being said, although writing was a luxury I couldn't afford while on duty, this story was never far from my thoughts. I actually have the basic outline for the next several chapters done, all of which were originally scribbled in the margins of my patient notes :)_

 _This chapter turned out to be a bit of a beast so I ended up having to separate it. The second part will come soon. I just need to clean it up a bit. Hope you enjoy this first bit though!_

* * *

"Katniss, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Greets Boggs, as she makes her way towards Coin's office.

"Afternoon. I wanted to have a word with Ms. President."

"Uh, Katniss, I would like to help, but the President doesn't take unscheduled visitors."

"Well, that's going to be a problem because she's going to see me."

"Oh, really? And what pray tell, can I ask is the purpose of this meeting?" Boggs asks, lifting one eyebrow in amused suspicion.

"I, uh, just need to speak with her right away. It's very important." She demands.

Though her certainty wavers as she worries her lip in nervousness.

"Wait here." He directs.

Walking towards Coin's office she sees him speak into the intercom, but cannot discern the words. He pauses, listening to whatever the response is and looks over at Katniss. He releases the button and walks back over.

"Katniss, she said that she cannot see you right now. She suggests that you wait until she has availability. When she does it will appear on your daily tattoo."

"That's unacceptable. I need to see her right now."

"I'd like to help. Really. But if she says _**no**_ there's not much that can be done. Is there perhaps something _**I**_ can help you with instead?'

"Boggs, you're a reasonable man. If she were sending your spouse into the middle of a war ravaged district with enemies all around and an imminent threat of death wouldn't you do everything to prevent that?"

"Yes Ma'am. I sincerely would. Does this have anything to do with Peeta going to Two?"

She throws her hands up in exasperation because what else could this possibly be about.

"These propos that he's been doing have been getting more and more dangerous every time. I don't understand why he couldn't continue doing them alongside me right here on the soundstage."

"Maybe because it was unanimously decided that his presence was more effective among the people than behind a glass booth?" Boggs schooled. "He's doing good work out there Katniss. You have to trust that. Look at what happened in 8? He was the first person to spot the hovercrafts. If he wasn't there we may not have been able to evacuate those people from the hospital in time. I know you're worried, but know that his safety is paramount."

"And what about when he's in battle? Hmm? You'll be more concerned with- and I don't blame you- saving your own ass than his."

"Why do you think he's going to be fighting alongside us? That has never been a part of the plan." He questions.

"Then why all the training, huh? All his free time is spent with the generals, training like he's getting ready to enter another arena."

"He just wants to be prepared Katniss. He doesn't want to slow the team down in the event that something does happen. Peeta is headstrong just like you and he refuses to be a liability."

She twists her mouth in consternation. She knows that Boggs is right, but his words have no effect on sublimating her mood.

"Can I ask though, where is all of this sudden panic coming from. It's not like this is his first time in the field?" He asks.

"Boggs, I'm scared that I'm going to lose him. I can't shake this feeling. You saw the condition that the team came back in last time. 3 dead. 8 wounded. And the only reason that Peeta survived was because you pushed him into a ditch! I cannot afford, nor am I willing to lose my husband. Just because I can't play the martyr doesn't mean that I'm willing to sacrifice him instead."

"Your fear is understandable. Like I said, we will protect him as best as we can."

"You say that now, but you can't protect him the way that I can. Especially if he ends up having to fight. You know what-"she pauses, "I'm just… I'm just going to have to go with him," she declares; steadying her spine in solidarity of her decision.

Boggs looks down at her stomach and then back up at her face, forehead creased with doubt.

"There's no way you're going out on the field in your condition and I think that you are fully aware of that. There is also no need. I've been told that Peeta will be far away from the actual action. They plan on filming the propos miles from where base camp is. It'll probably be one of the safer trips that he'll be taking."

"So, you recognize that he's not always in the safest of places?"

"The entire country is at war, Katniss. There is no place that is 100% safe. So yes, while I do recognize that the propos are not always filmed in the safest of places, we do try our hardest to keep everyone out of harm's way."

"Peeta is not everyone." She counters angrily.

Sighing, Boggs puts his hands on her shoulders, steering her back towards the elevators.

"I know that," he assuages. "And special precautions are always taken where he is concerned."

He presses the button for the lift the same time that his communicator goes off. She uses the distraction to dart past him back towards Coin's office. Just as she's about to open the door, he grabs her, pinning her arms at her side.

"Dammit, Katniss, what are you doing?"

"I said, I need to speak to her," she huffs, attempting to wiggle from his grasp.

"And I said you can't right now. Jeez, they said you were stubborn, but come on!"

"You have no idea," she mutters darkly under her breath.

"What was that little girl?" Boggs asks, not at all amused by her sass.

"Nothing," she snaps. "You can let me go now."

"Uh, uh." He responds. Wrapping his arms around her, he lifts her, even as she attempts to fidget away.

"Boggs, this is ridiculous. Let me go."

"I will. In the elevator."

"PUT ME DOWN NOW!" She yells, pulling at his arms, but that only serves to make him hold on tighter.

When the doors open, he gently drops her inside the elevator.

"Goodbye Katniss," he directs, wiggling his fingers in dismissal.

She thrusts her middle finger up at his condescension, her mouth beginning to form the words akin to the gesture when the doors close silencing the remainder of the insult. It doesn't take much imagination for him to know what she was trying to say.

Smirking to himself, he returns to his post.

* * *

 _Additionally, I would like to thank those that liked, favourited and reviewed this story during my absence. I absolutely appreciate it!_


	28. Chapter 28

_**AN**_ : _In honor of my birthday today, I'm finally posting the next chapter. I know, I said that it wouldn't have been a long wait in between, but I lied, life sucks and puts a huge whole in best laid plans. Anyhow, I spent a lot of time proofreading and polishing this chapter, but I'm still not 100% about it so please if you have any questions, comments or concerns let me know. Remember I do appreciate constructive criticism :)_

 _I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

"Peet, I heard your wife's causing problems downstairs," Rye laughed as he walked into the kitchen.

"When is she not causing trouble?" He joked in reply as he took a tray of bread out of the oven.

"Orla, says that she saw Boggs physically restrain her into the elevator. Thought maybe you should know."

'' _Katniss hadn't mentioned going down to the President's floor this morning_ ,'' he wonders to himself.

And then it dawns on him why and suddenly the humor of the situation quickly fades as he sighs in dismay.

Without asking, he knows exactly what this is about.

Katniss had become obsessively fixated on his safety ever since they started filming the external propos and it had only gotten worse with every Districts that they visited. Especially as the violence seemed to escalate with every trip. Plutarch had deemed the series, 'Live from the Battlefield' and many times it had felt just that.

When the team had first tossed out the idea of taking the propos into areas where the war had ravaged, everyone had been reticent initially. They were all safe within the walls of Thirteen and no one wanted to willingly expose themselves to the uncertainty of the outside world. But, the former games maker and even Haymitch had agreed that they could do more good in terms of uniting the people if their actual faces could be seen.

It made sense. There was only so much they could do from behind a camera lens.

Plus, the exposure would give them some much needed perspective as to what people on the outside were truly facing.

As Peeta would do anything to protect his wife and child, he was adamant from the very beginning that Katniss was not leave to Thirteen for any reason. She'd taken the one trip to Twelve months ago and that was enough for them both. She could continue to film from the studio here and he would go to the districts and be the physical manifestation of their joint unity.

He'd thought it would be a battle getting his stubborn wife to agree, but what he hadn't anticipated was having to convince Coin. It seemed rather practical to not send a woman that was 8 months pregnant out into the field, but apparently Thirteen's President thought it would promote a stronger view of the rebellion to have their Mockingjay, womb swollen with the next generation, leading the troops into battle.

What proceeded that announcement was a 20 minute argument wherein Haymitch had to restrain him from jumping across the table at her.

He'd spent years with an abusive mother and not once did he ever feel the need to strike a woman as much as he did Coin that day as she pontificated on the merits of Katniss being in the field. She only relented (and resentfully so) after a vote rendered her the only one in favor of her plan.

He knew that he was only a substitute for Katniss, and a poor one at that, but he could not fathom how someone who was so logical would purposefully endanger the very face of their movement.

Afterwards, as they walked back to their quarters with Boggs in tow, both Plutarch and Haymitch had informed him that Coin had lost her family in the Pox outbreak that had decimated Thirteen years ago. She'd never remarried nor had any other children after.

Even with anger still clouding his judgment towards the woman, he couldn't deny that he sympathized with her situation.

"That's terribly tragic, but what does that have to do with Katniss?" He'd questioned, not seeing what one had to do with the other.

He hadn't taken notice of the direction that they were walking in until Boggs unlocked the door of a room he'd yet to have seen.

"Coin wants us to think that she has it all together." Plutarch began, after the door was shut firmly behind them. "That's what initially drew me to her side in the beginning. When we first met and she laid out her plans to defeat Snow, I have to admit the efficiency and decisiveness that she eschewed was more than a little attractive."

Peeta tried to cover his distaste at the comment by turning away, but Haymitch ever the oblivious, wrapped an arm around his stomach and pantomimed gagging.

"Oh, don't judge me," Plutarch remarked. "Clearly my opinion has changed now that I've gotten to know her better. "She evokes this air of shrewd pragmatism, but I've learned that she's innately selfish and there's a part of her that's more than a little self-destructive. She wants to win the war, but I've often wondered what her true motivation is and at what cost is she willing to see her plan through?"

Nodding, Haymitch added, "She's a good leader for her district on paper, but I think there's a lethalness to her efficiency that I hadn't noted until we came back from that last filming. She didn't even blink when we reported our losses. One of those men was a high ranking official. A man she'd grown up with and she merely shrugged and replied that these things happen. There was no emotion there. Her detached coldness was a more than a little disconcerting."

"I'd imagine in a district this size, every life would matter more than in most; that she'd treat them all like extensions of her family." Peeta remarked.

"That's the point they're trying to make."

Boggs' voice emerged from his sentinel stance by the door. He'd been mum until now and Peeta had almost forgotten that he was even there.

"For most of us, she is the only leader that we've ever known with the pox having killed off most of those that would remember the pre-Coin days. It's the reason that most follow her blindly, they know no other way."

"And you? I have to assume you feel differently since you're standing in this room with us." Peeta questioned.

"It's taken me a couple of years, but yes. As I've gone up in rank, I have become uncomfortably familiar with some of her… let's just say questionable tactics. You have to understand, from young we've been trained to fight in a hypothetical war. Coin however, has lived her entire life like she knew it was coming and now that we're in the thick of it…"

"The ugliness has come out?" Haymitch asked.

"Something like that. Her need to win has overshadowed her common sense. Right now, I don't think there's a sacrifice she isn't willing to make or a situation she isn't willing to manipulate for her end game," Boggs continued.

"And in this case it's my wife and child?"

The older men nodded solemnly.

"Still, her attitude doesn't make any sense though. Her actions in the district show that she wants to promote family. I mean, they have that incentive program for new couples who produce healthy offspring. Plus, the special meals for expectant mothers and little ones. Shouldn't she be excited that a new life is about to be born in her district? And I don't mean to gloat, but Thirteen gets to be the birthplace of the star-crossed lovers baby."

"Between me and you," Plutarch lowered his voice and moved in closer. "I think she resents the families both old and new. To her blood **_is_** thicker than water so with no family of her own left, she views Thirteen's residents as little more than chattel; worse yet for Twelve's citizens. She instituted those programs for the betterment of the district, but I honestly don't think it's something that she herself particularly likes. She's more of the 'end justifies the means' than a 'happily ever after' type.

"Basically, she hates happiness, is what you're saying?" Haymitch piped in.

"No, not what I'm saying," Plutarch exasperated. "I think she doesn't like they have something that she doesn't."

"A family," Boggs added.

"And you're telling me all of this why?" Peeta asked.

"Because we want you to be aware of what's going on. You're a smart boy. You're fiercely loyal and protective of your family and you've shown that you're willing to not just be a mouthpiece. With that being said, now that Katniss is not an option…"

As the three other men looked from one to the other understanding finally dawned on him.

"You think Coin will make me the martyr instead?" He paled, taking hold of the nearest counter to steady himself. "What kind of person are we working with?!" He'd probed, but while Boggs looked the other way, Plutarch had merely shrugged.

Haymitch was the one to put a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"Listen kid, as unfair as this may sound, she's the lesser of two evils right now. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, but I know that while we're in this shitty grey district, my wife and children are safe and for now, so is yours. We don't think she'll necessarily make a play against you while we're in Thirteen, but out in the field it's a different question. There could very well be an 'accident' and we know that she won't blink twice at using your death to promote the cause."

"I can see the headlines now. [ _Husband of the Mockingjay killed on the front lines of the rebellion_ ] Plutarch replied, using his hands to frame the words out expressively. [ _He lost his life fighting to free Panem from oppression. He leaves behind a distraught wife and an unborn child_ ] Even the most hardened Capitolites would eat that up. It's the kind of tragic drama they love. Might even be enough to sway them over our cause," he finished.

"I see your point," Peeta sighed, as hateful resentment bubbled up within him. "Something like that would be enough to make anyone join the uprising."

"With that being said- we think it's best that you start training with the soldiers," Haymitch advised.

"And if Coin asks why?"

"We say that you just want to be prepared for anything that might happen. We use the last couple of incidents to warrant the need. But, know that I will be watching and looking out for any potential threats at all times." Boggs added.

"I appreciate that Boggs, but I don't want you putting your life on the line for me."

Everyone except for Peeta chuckled when Boggs commented that if he didn't, and anything happened, Katniss would skin him alive.

"Are you really afraid of my wife?" Peeta smirked, temporarily putting aside his fear.

"Hell, boy, we're all a little afraid of her," Haymitch added, as they slowly filed out of the room.

He noticed that while Boggs and Plutarch walked on ahead, Haymitch had fallen in line with his own slower pace.

"How's the ankle," he asked. Referencing the injury Peeta had received when he'd been pushed aside by Bogg's quick thinking.

"Better, Katniss has been rubbing a liniment on it and wrapping it every night."

"Yeah, well let's just be grateful that a bad sprain is all you got. You could've gotten your ass blown up and then where would be?"

"Do you think the explosion was meant to kill me?"

"There's no one way to tell whether it was a coincidence that they targeted that area or if you were the intended all along. We've no idea if she's desperate enough to have someone on the inside try to take you out. "

"Is that why you're telling me this away from them?" He gestured with a jut of is chin at the retreating backs of their fellow co-conspirators.

The mentor merely arched his eyebrow in acknowledgment.

They remained in a thoughtful silence the remainder of the way. Just as he went to enter his compartment, Haymitch touched his sleeve.

Looking up in interest, he noted the pensive look on the older man's face.

"Something else on your mind, Haymitch?"

Clearing his throat, he clasped a firm hand on Peeta's bicep.

"You know… you and sweetheart… well your family." He replied gruffly.

"We know," Peeta remarked a little bemused, "You guys are too."

"It's just, I don't want anything to happen to you two, you three, I mean," he corrected, clearing a suspicious catch in his throat. "I need you to be hyper vigilant around everyone. I don't trust that woman. Hell, I don't trust most people down here. But, Coin reminds me too much of someone."

"Who?" Peeta asked.

Haymitch just looked at him as he turned to make his way down the hall.

"Haymitch!" He called after him. "Who does she remind you of?"

If Thirteen's halls didn't have a pervasive echo, he was sure that he wouldn't have heard Haymitch's whispered response.

"Snow."


End file.
